#it reminded me of an au I tried making as a kid but never finished

[returntosunder]

Day 2: Where it all began

[mingismoralloyalty]

The sweetest scent

pairing: Idol! Mingi x succubus! reader (species implies that the reader is fem bodied)

genre: smut

au: fantasy au, demon au

trope: magical invocation

word count: 3.6k

rating: 18+, Minors do not interact!

summary: Mingi is down bad for way to long now. Good thing his daydreams leading him into your open arms, when you not so randomly appear on the other side of the road, driven by a spell and the delicious smell of his despair...

warnings: smut, pwp, cnc somnophilia, cum eating, unprotected sex (don't!), nicknames (honey, sweetheart, baby, pretty boy, princess, baby boy), soft dom!reader, subby Mingi, demon fucking, praise kink, nipple kink, breast play, cumming inside, kinda getting caught, did I forget something?

authors note: Heyy, this is my first fanfic in a long long while and I've never written something like this in english, so please bear with me. If you find mistakes, let me know, so I can improve myself 🩷 I'm so glad this is now out here. Please let me know what you think. Critique is welcome. And yes, I had to edit some things, I hope you like this version too. Okay that's it for now ✨

songs: BM - bad intentions

~😈🖤😈~

It was a warm friday evening in Seoul, the streets were full of people enjoying their free time, visiting bars with their friends or going out on dates with their partners. This city was full of couples much to the distress of a certain young man. Mingi was sick of this sight. It wasn't like he was envious, but he was just so done that he wasn't able to date, let alone have a one night stand. Dating would even be the safest option for him to blow off some steam, even though that wouldn't be the only reason a girlfriend would be great. Don't get him wrong, he's not an ass, but sometimes there was just something missing in his life.

Having one night stands had the potential to ruin his reputation in just a few days, so this was off the table. But to be honest he had no time to date. He had tried it and it went awful. A week long relationship wasn't even a relationship, it was just something. In the end he even had to be scared that his "ex girlfriend" - or whatever she was - would use pictures of them together as leverage against him.

Sometimes he dreamt of living a normal live, moving freely in public and having a girlfriend. But then again he loved his life like it was right now and he wouldn't trade it for anything else. Just a little adventure here or there would just be a nice addition.

That's why he decided to make the step and - even if it sounds crazy - summon a succubus.

But let's start at the beginning. It all started when he had stumbled across this link to an online forum a few days ago, where people were sharing stories about their encounters with magical beings. Guardian angels, demons, doppelgangers... you name it.

Mingi himself was sure he had seen a fairy in his parents garden multiple times when he was a little kid. He would never forget these images, this extraordinary experience. It would always live inside his head. The magical world was there, he was sure.

It was so interesting to read all of these encounters people had with these other worldly beings, that he couldn't stop reading.

Today at work it was no exception, because these thoughts of being lonely at night reminded him, that he hadn't finished one specific story he had found on that site, where a guy was writing about meeting a succubus. Well, he claimed to have summoned her. What an exciting story! Mingi read and read. Maybe this was a solution he could try for himself? The ritual for the invocation seemed easy enough to do in his little studio. He just needed four black candles (surely it didn't matter if they were scented) and a spell. So he did it.

And now he walked home, full of anticipation. Hopefully he did everything right and it would work tonight. He knew a succubus would only appear when he fell asleep (well, he thought so). How would it feel to be touched in his sleep? Probably pretty hot, he imagined. And hopefully he would wake up? Would it make sense to set an alarm? Surely he would wake up anyways.

As he was walking away from the masses of people to a more quiet area of the city, where the dorm was located, he was dwelling on this thought not paying much attention to his surrounding.

And that's where you came into play. Already from afar you could smell this man's need and desperation. Musky and sweet. Oh so sweet. He smelled like a dessert to you and you would make sure to eat him like one tonight. It was so intense, that you didn't have to look for too long for him. Feeding on humans energy could be tough sometimes, but today seemed an easy feast. But before that, you always loved to take a closer look at your prey and play a little with their mind.

It was a simple tactic but efficient, just looking cute and seemingly absemindedly walking in his way. Him playing into your cards by not looking where he went himself was downright nice of him and... boom! You felt his toned chest muscles on your bare upper arm as you dramatically stumbled sideways, letting out a soft "Oh!" and dropping your handbag to the floor.

"Ah! I'm sorry!", he blurted out instantly grabbing your shoulder so you wouldn't fall aswell. "Oh no, it was my bad, I wasn't looking myself.", you exclaimed, looking up to him with doe eyes. For a second time stood still. He froze, looking at you mesmerised, his mouth slightly agape. He smelled even better up close, like seasalt and sage. This was his cologne, not only his pheromones but the combination smelled even better. You too, were struck for a moment, before he quickly blinked and let go of you. "Sorry. ", he mumbled, before hastily grabbing your bag from the concrete to offer it to you.

"Here... uh, your bandhag...I - I mean handbag!", you grabbed the bag with a sweet smile and he awkwardly laughed while scratching the back of his head. "Thank you and thanks for catching me.", you said softly and put the strap of your bag over your shoulder.

"Sorry again, and sorry I have to go. Have a good evening.", he kind of cutely waved you goodbye and went in the direction of the dorm a bit faster and focused this time.

Your eyes follow him with a bemused face. He would be so fun to play with.

Mingi went home in a hurry, trying not to crash into another person or thing until he was able to close the door of his safe home behind him, before he could cringe in peace.

"Fuck, that was so awkward!", he grunted pulling his sneakers from his feet.

"Hm?", a curious face appeared in his sight when he came back up to step into the appartment. Typical nosey San looked expectantly with raised eyebrows at his flatmate. Mingi sighed. "There was this cute girl I ran into. Nearly knocked her over.", he explained and San snickered. "Daydreaming again, man? What's up with you these days?", he asked, but Mingi just waved it off. "What's for dinner?", he asked instead before he paused in his movement. Was his hand smelling funny? He held it up to his nose to smell it and indeed it smelled fruity, flowery and insanely feminine. It almost made him a little dizzy...

That night Mingi was almost too excited to sleep, hadn't he been so exhausted from work that he fell asleep sooner than he thought.

He had a great sleep. Forgotton was his awkward behaviour and he was only thinking about your beautiful eyes, that somehow found a way into his dream...

You giggled quietly doing a little happy dance on your tip toes, when you materialized in a dark corner of his Bedroom. It was just so easy, but you loved these games every time, before visiting.

Full of anticipation you looked over to Mingi. Black filled your eyes, instantly reflecting some of the moonlight that shined through the window, while also your beautiful black horns came twisting up through your shiny Hair. Unlike on the street today you were now wearing some black lingerie which honestly left nearly nothing to the imagination. Easy excess was important for you so this seemed appropriate.

There he layed on his bed all sprawled out, stripped of his heavy blanked in this hot weather softly snoring. He was deep in his slumber with a raging hard on visibly poking up in his pyjama shorts. You really left an imprint on that poor boy that evening.

Slowly you made your way to his bed eyeing his sleepy form up and down. He looked so cute and peaceful and you were sure the expression of pure bliss on his face would look even cuter... or maybe desperation when you would deny him of his orgasm?

"Hmm, we will see...", you mumbled to yourself, before climbing over your yet clueless prey to straddle him.

Carefully you grabbed his pants on each side and slowly pulled it down. With a little flop his not so little dick slapped against his toned torso creating a small puddle of precum below his bellybutton. A reliefed sound escaped his soft lips, when you freed his boner in the act, which made you smile widely. "My god, he's so big!", you whispered with wide eyes.

The cum looked delicious on his skin dripping from his tip and you wanted to taste it so badly. So you wasted no time and dipped your index finger into the clear fluid and brought it between your lips. Kind of sweet you'd say. Surprisingly. Sadly this wasn't often the case. But this cutie was a special one, you could feel it. You two would definitely have a lot of fun tonight.

With quick motions you opened his pyjama shirt and exposed his bare chest. Now it was your turn to release a content sigh when you viewed his seemingly flawless figure, your gaze cought by his beautiful pink nipples. You loved nipples! Another part of the human body that made so many people squirm when you touched them the right way. They looked so delicate and vulnerable, it was wonderful. Biting your lower lip you softly touched the rosy buds and earned another pleased sound of this strikingly handsome young man under you.

Mesmerised by your view your hands started to wander downwards on his body, still nibbling on your own soft lips you started to stroke his thick cock up and down where his precum smeared tip was subtly glistening in the moonlight. It felt so heavy in your comparibly small hand and you loved it. Apparently he loved your touch too, because he quietly started to moan. You looked at his face to see the slightly scrunched eyebrows. He was really a sight to see.

His whole appearance made you throb for more and you wondered who was the demon here. Even in his sleep it seemed like he actively tried to seduce you. You were dripping for him. You needed him inside desperately. His sexual energy would last a long time for you to feist on, you were sure.

Still on your knees you propped yourself up on one hand to hover over the sleeping man to rub your wet folds angainst the underside of his shaft. His body felt so hot it send a tingling sensation through your whole body as your core touched it. Your slick arousal gathering on his dick more and more before you finally pushed it inside your hole with a high pitched moan leaving your lungs while earning a surprised but undeniably aroused gasp by your sleeping cutie.

He stretched you out so good that you held still for a moment to adjust your body to his before starting to grind against his hips. Moving in circular motions while rubbing your clit on his pubic area created an appatizing sound to you not to mention a wonderfully energising feeling. And in the magic of the moment you needed to taste his lips. His oh so full and pink lips. So you did and they tasted immaculate. It seemed that there was nothing he couldn't offer you. Maybe you had to come back a few times you thought to yourself, absentmindedly stroking one of his nipples with the thumb of your free hand, never loosing your sensual rhythm.

And you knew the most interesting part would begin now, because all of this different stimulations were waking the deepest sleeper. So you curiously hovered over his face after the kiss and you saw how he struggled to lift his heavy eyelids, his body fighting against the deep sleep.

"Wakey, wakey.", you giggled, still letting you hips circle over his. "Honey, you feel heavenly, you know that?", you sighed and continued to toy with his pretty perky nipples.

"What?", he responded confused and drowsy still trying to get his body awake.

Deep sleep was so heavy on him after such a long day and it took him a little while to get conscious, but finally he opend his eyes and realised that this was not his dream anymore, even though there was the same person in front of him, just slightly different looking.

"What the fuck?!", he gasped and crossed his arms in front of his face.

"Already forgot that you called for me, sweetheart?", you smiled. You were right. Mingi rubbed his eyes and blinked at you.

He swallowed down the initial shock your demonic appearance had caused him and lowered his arms next to him.

"No, I... I just wasn't expecting...", he tried to finish his sentence, but it ended miserably in a guttural moan, when you moved your hips again. You nodded. "That's it, baby. Give in to me.", you said lowly, before you slowed down your movements and took his hand in yours, guiding it to your horns.

"Didn't expect me to look like this, hm?", you asked with a cheeky grin.

Mingi's hand shrugged away for a second when he felt the rough texture of the horn.

"I summoned you.", he simply stated, recalling his memories from the day, his mind now much clearer.

"You did, pretty boy.", you confirmed enthusiastically.

"It really worked.", he whispered fascinated.

"And you know there is only one reason why why you would do that, right?", you asked, trying to get him out of his shell now.

"Yeah.", he nodded, a slight red tint creeping on to his cheeks, before his eyes suddenly got bigger.

"It's you! We- we met on the streets today."

You laughed.

"Yes, we did, sweetheart. And when I found you today ...", you started painting invisible patterns on his chest with your fingers, "you where smelling so delicious with all your pheromones and your nearly dripping desperation. I smelled you from miles away. Haven't smelled this intensity in a while I must say.", thinking about this you put a finger on your chin, pursing your lips.

"You... You could smell my...", Mingi's cheeks changed into an even deeper red now.

"All of your desire and despair, yes.", you, smiled and stroked his cheek with your thumb.

"I knew I had to taste you, pretty boy.", you batted your eyelashes at him.

"I'm sure you're having a rough time, where you can't make room for sex. I couldn't imagine.", you pouted like you genuinely felt sorry for him and you did a bit, just because he was so extra cute.

Slowly you found it was enough of all the talking. You wanted to start the action again and you were sure Mingi agreed.

"So... how about we just fuck now, princess?", you asked him massaging his shoulders a little and you suddenly felt him twitch inside of you.

"Oh, you like that, huh?", a triumphant expression was creeping on your face.

Mingi's body felt hot. This was all he was hoping for. He looked you up and down. From your dark eyes and your horns to your sensual lips, your bare tits, just in reach for him, down to your core where he still was nestled inside of you. This insanely hot woman was already on top of him, calling him by his favourite nickname, when he was now down bad for months. Finally!

"Sure, let's continue.", he smiled back at you and let his hands glide up your thighs to grip your hips.

"Alright, baby boy, show me what you got.", you said with a wicked smile and let your hands wander from his shoulders to his upper arms where you held tight.

Mingi now began to actively push upwards to meet your hips. Oh, how he missed this feeling! It just felt so good. Oh, sooo good. After such a long time, he really needed it. Your pussy felt so hot and tight around him and you were already so wet for him. The slick sounds between you both accompanied an animalistic series of grunts he let out wich made you victoriously puff your chest. Of course this motion didn't go unnoticed by the attractive man underneath you, who took his chance to grab a handful of one of your boobs, squishing and massaging it in his big palm, making you moan appreciatively.

"Ah, fuck me good, pretty boy!", you panted as his movements got faster. You leaned down to get another taste of his plump lips, that felt so soft against yours, you could have done this all night long, but Mingi wanted more. His tongue darted out to catch yours, so you opened your mouth and welcomed him with some soft licks to it, before sucking on it a little. All the while his fingers were playing with your nipples and his hot breath echoed inside your open mouth when you release his tongue again. He made you feel so good, it was incredible.

Finally you grabbed his right hand from your tit to move it down further between your bodies and let his fingers touch your clit. He instantly understood the assignment and started rubbing rough circles on it. You were a mess by now, you really didn't have this much fun in a long time. "Fuck you're so good at this, sweetheart.", you praised him while Mingi gave you half a smirk, already broken asweat. This was extatic. You felt your high coming closer and closer to the point where it was just seconds away. "Oh, I'm coming~!", you whimpered, rutting against Mingi's movements that where going at a rapid pace now. You had completely blown his mind away. He was panting and grunting, pulling your body against his with so much force it made you tip over the edge and come so hard like you haven't in a long while. A stretched downright pornographic moan left your open mouth, everything inside your body contracted hard in waves, your pussy pulsing around Mingi's dick and this incredibly energising and relieving feeling spreading through your veins. Hungryly you looked down at Mingi, eager to see his orgasm face.

His eyes where scrunched up in pleasure, brows knitted, his mouth shaped like an O. He was so close. "Come for me, princess.", you whispered against his lips whilst contracting and relieving your pelvic muscles a few times on purpose. This was it. All this built-up frustration that couldn't be satisfied with his own hands released in one go. A moan left him so heartbreaking you weren't sure if he would literally fall apart under you. You lived for this extasy. All these big feelings releasing from one moment to another.

You could feel the amount of cum getting pumped inside your heat and it was truly the cherry on top for you. This whole act was the essence of your life and you wouldn't have it any other way.

"Fuck, I feel so good.", you sighed, every part of your body tingling while you layed your head on Mingi's shoulder.

"Oh, shit!", he laughed, bringing his hands to his face. "This was crazy.", he mumbled and you snickered. "I can't deny it: I really needed this.", he carefully put an arm on your back, looking at you from the corner of his eyes. In this moment it was absolutely weired to see and he didn't know if he could trust his senses, but your eyes turned back to the color he saw this evening and your horns retrieved back between your silky locks.

"What is happening?", he asked confused, looking deep in your eyes. "This is my human form.", you simply stated, "I only have to let it go when I charche my energy.", you shrugged your shoulders and smiled.

"Oh, so you can normally walk around like this.", he nodded. "Right, I-...", rumbling was heard outside his room. Muffled voices. "Mingi?", it was Seonghwa.

"Everything okay with you?", San's voice following.

Panic widened in Mingi's eyes.

"Uh, yeah... Everything's s all right! Don't come in!", quickly he pushed himself up on his elbows. Normally there were no visitors in the dorm and if that was the case, they swore that they would tell each other.

"What happened?", San asked and Seonghwa instantly commented: "You really wanna know, if he says 'don't come in' after those sounds leaving his room?"

"Oh, shush!", San said annoyed.

"You're shushing me?!", Seonghwa retorted and the bickering began outside the door.

"Who are they?!", you giggled, sitting up again. Mingi taking the chance to lift his upper body with you, but also pressing a hand over your mouth in a hurry with a pleading look on his face.

Silence.

"Is there a woman with you?", San's voice sounded confused.

"Uh, no...", great, he sounded way to unsure.

"Can't you just vanish, like you came in here? Or how did even you come in here anyways?", Mingi hissed at you.

"Oh no, this is too much fun.", you laughed when his fingers left your lips.

"Come on in guys!", you chimed happily, you were so curious to see who was living with your little cutie.

Silence again.

Slowly the door handle dipped, the door opened and revealed two very handsome young men.

Hastily Mingi tried to cover your still connected bodies with his blanket. This was even more embarrassing than the incident on the streets with you today.

"Oh my god!", San exclaimed, trying to hide his and Seonghwa's eyes at the same time.

"Mingi what the fuck, why is there a stranger in here? ", Seonghwa tried to say while San's hand accidentally hit his face.

"It's not what you think!", Mingi whined, unsure how to solve this situation without looking like a complete maniac. So you took it in your hands to say something.

You smiled at the two guys who pointedly tried to cover their eyes and exclaimed with glee: "Oh, I didn't know there were more handsome treats living in this household!"

~😈🖤😈~

© mingismoralloyalty

This is my own work of fiction. Do not copy, translate, feed to ai or report.

[kunasthiast]

Sandwiches and Numbers

It is always the special sandwiches with Sukuna and the bittersweet feeling of knowing you'll leave him again. But, it is what it is... right?

Oh please, yes, I listened to Taylor Swift's Fortnight and Cruel Summer a lot of times already that I've crafted this story because this is what I see everytime I listen to them T^T

Also, this is kind of my first time to post my writing drafts OTL this is part of a series I'm starting called 'Fortnight' – all stories in this series will be in a masterpost and part of the Summer Love!Sukuna AU <333

Hope you'll enjoy this one as I've enjoyed writing this one so far ~

Pairing: Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: fluff + light angst, Summer Love AU Word Count: 800+ All characters are of age. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact.

It was perfect. The kisses he marked you with on your neck. The tight hugs and cuddles. Your warm body on top of him. The love you shared. Yet, everything comes to an end.

As you stared into his eyes full of love, regret, and pain, you speak up, ”I’ll miss us. I don’t want to let you go again, ‘Kuna.” 

“Then don’t,” Sukuna replied as looked down on your eyes. He hugged you tighter and kissed you on the forehead. With a sigh, you continued, “I wish it didn’t have to end like this.”

“Neither do I, but it is what it is.” You looked up to him and replied back, “Well, I always find my way back to you.” Sukuna released you from the hug and sat up with his back turned back to you, looking for his boxers. He tosses you his shirt and stood up to wear his now found boxers. “What, gonna treat me like your rebound?” He scoffed with a growing smirk as he looked back at you. 

You gladly wore Sukuna’s shirt and rolled your eyes at his reply. You know and he knows he’s not a rebound. You could never. It’s just that, he was the best person to ever happen to you. The best kisses. The best laughs. The best moments. The best sex. The best banters. Just, the best. Funny how the universe works. With those thoughts in mind, you chuckled and tried your best to make the cutest, pleading face to Sukuna, “Yeah, yeah. I’m hungry, can you make me food? Pretty please, ‘Kuna?”

“What do I do with you?” Sukuna groaned and left the room to prep up the food. With that, you also got up from the bed and went to the kitchen to watch him make food. As you walked through his house, there’s a lot of picture frames of him, his late brother, his late grandpa, and his nephew, Yuji. This reminds you of his nephew and as you pick up the picture to look at it better,  you asked Sukuna, “Where’s Yuji now?” 

With his back turned back to you while prepping the food on the kitchen island, he replied with a scoff, “You’ve been here for a fortnight and you just remembered Yuji now?” 

“Well, forgive my fish memory! I haven’t seen him since I got back.” You replied back and put back the picture to where it was before. You continued walking to the kitchen and sat down on the chair near the kitchen island, he said, “Yuji’s in the city.” You looked at what he was prepping and exclaimed excitedly, “Where in the city? I’d love to visit him, I missed his chubby cheeks!” 

As Sukuna finished prepping the food, he slid the plate to you and took a bite at his food. While chewing, he said, “In the big ass university you went to. He’s not a little kid you remembered him to be.” You looked at the plate he gave you and admired the yummy food in front of you.

As always, he makes my favorite snack. A sandwich full of lettuce, bacon, ham, and cheese, with his homemade sauce that makes it all the more special. Before taking a bite, you replied solemnly “Well, that doesn’t stop my excitement to see him again. Can you give me his contacts before I go?”

“Fine.” He exclaimed with a gruff as he finishes his sandwich and pulled out his phone to look for Yuji’s number to give it to you. You gladly put Yuji’s number on your phone and saved it as, ‘Little Yuji.’ 

A few years ago, before you moved to the city, you often visit Sukuna’s house to babysit his little nephew. He practically was raised by you and you take great pride in that. Sukuna, on the other hand, just lets you do what you want with Yuji and doesn’t bother help you babysit him every time.

“Oh! I gotta get your number, too, ‘Kuna. Give it to me.” You excitingly exclaimed and continued munching on your sandwich. Sukuna reached for your plate and his to clean up and casually said, “What’s the use? You’re leaving tomorrow and not coming back.” Ouch, that hurts. He doesn’t have to say it obviously like that. You feigned a sigh, “For when you’re in the city?” 

“Just finish your sandwich.” And so you did. 

Looking back on the two weeks you’ve been back in this town, you missed this slow life as compared to the busy, bustling, fast-paced city. You missed everyone. You especially missed Sukuna. His sweetest grin, his lovable laugh, his fluffiest pink fluff of hair, and his most adoring eyes.

Where did everything go wrong? As you thought and realized. Oh yeah, you cut him off and didn’t contact him for over 10 years only to go back to him two weeks ago out of nowhere and you’re leaving again tomorrow with an indefinite time if you'll ever be back again in his arms.

[unknownhyperial]

Being reminded about my first attempt at a TADC Au made me remember that I said I'd post it back in March a month after I stopped actively making it.

So let me rectify that right now :]

NOTE: This AU is a scrapped idea that I'm taking apart and reusing for the Company AU and Survival Isles. I just wanted to showcase the original concept sketches for an AU because although I don't like them at all anymore they are rather silly.

Now, allow me to introduce The Amazing Digital Dollhouse! (I am amazing at names /s /silly)

I never finished Caines design. I think at that point I gave up on the AU because I realized I had no idea what I wanted to do with it and it no longer scratched my brain like it used to

It never really had a plot? My basic idea for it was that instead of a circus they lived inside a doll house. Like, an actual doll house. There was an opening in some of the rooms that just led to a vacant dark void that made them feel constantly watched. I made Pomni into an small wooden doll that I used to see at my old local library when I was a kid. Had this entire idea that because she had ball hands she couldn't figure out how to pick up stuff for the longest time (even tho this is a digital VR thing still) until one day she accidentally managed to snap an item she tried to grab into her hand as a way of holding it.

Gangle possessed a barbie like doll because it made her feel more stable which I thought was neat. Jax lost his arm at some point (cant remember why) and so Zooble helped him get it replaced with one of those sticky hands.

They all also had circus roles and acts like in Freakshow, but I don't really want to delve into that part because it was complicated.

Never got around to drawing them much outside of a few doodles in a sketch book (this AU did cause me to start shipping ragapom though) and one sketch concept of them baking together as a group. I only have one sketch from that because I never finished.

Obviously there was a lot more to the story then just them living in a dollhouse but I made this actively in February and forgot majority of the lore at this point.

I genuinely thought I made this AU in March but my files say February so thats why they all look a lil ugly 👍

[welcometocaritas-creations]

so i wrote the draft for a Diego/Lila s4 au fic last year

It's about 150-200k in length and it's going to be a while before I can get it post worthy (soooo much editing to do) and I still have my wolfwren fic to finish first. BUT in light of the horror show that was s4, I thought I'd give you guys a sneak peek to cleanse the palette

When I do post, it will be on my AO3 account here . So if you want you can subscribe to me and then when I post it, you'll know :) It's sort of a Lila-centric fic that deals with her trauma and how impending motherhood impacts that and is impacted by it - but obviously Diego/Lila is a huge part of the fic.

So without further ado. . .

. . .

“Gracie. If it’s a girl.”

Diego’s brow furrows. “Wait, really?”

Lila shrugs. “Sure. Why not?”

In truth, she’s a little intimidated by Grace Hargreeves, though they’ve never met. Or at least, she’s never met the version of her that Diego holds up on a pedestal. Half robot or not, Lila knows she was a better mum than she can ever hope to be. That she was soft where Lila is hard, quiet where she’s loud, sensitive where she’s callous. Lila will never be even half as good as her at this mothering bullshit.

But she wants to be.

The name can be a reminder. And, though logically she knows there can be no better reminder than her own flesh and blood child standing in front of her, the deck is stacked against her. So she’s willing to pull out all the stops. Rational or not.

Besides. . . she was Diego’s mum. Gave him a soft place to land growing up. Gave him love when there was none to find.

When they were in the asylum, Diego never had a nice word to say about anyone.

Except for her.

Lila thinks that’s something that deserves to be honored. Celebrated, even. The fact that one of them had a mum growing up that wasn’t complete shit. Even if she was prevented by her own programming from actually protecting her children.

(this, at least, is one thing Lila thinks she can do better. Protecting her child. She’s not a robot designed by her kids’ abuser, after all. She’s also more skilled in a fight than her birth parents. A winning combination, really.

She may not turn out to be a good mum in any sense of the definition but she’ll be damned if she can’t keep them safe.

And who will keep them safe from you?)

Lila’s skin feels hot. And sweaty. Like she’s skipped breakfast. And lunch. And three nights' worth of dinners. “Diego. . . what if we screw this up?”

“Then we’ll do our best to unscrew it.”

She snorts. Laughs.

Appreciates the words more than if he offered an infuriatingly optimistic denial. The reassurance that: of course they won’t screw up their kid, how silly of her to even entertain the thought.

“Unscrew our kid?”

Diego smiles - probably at her laugh - and shifts until he’s seated beside her on the bed, rather than behind her. So she has no choice but to see the earnestness in his eyes. And there is so much bleeding earnestness. She’s not sure how this man ever convinced himself he was a lone wolf. This is a pack animal through and through. “Yeah, listen, Lila. . . we’re sort of stumbling around in the dark here. You’re not the only one who feels that. Who’s scared shitless.” This too is a comfort. “But that’s how I felt with Stan and things didn’t turn out too bad.”

“He was Kugelblitzed.”

“Well, that’s hardly going to happen again.“

She smacks him on the shoulder. “Oh God, now you’ve jinxed it and it’s definitely going to happen again. Are you crazy?”

She could kill him.

Diego grins through a wince, refusing to grasp the grievous error he’s just made. “The point is we’re going to make mistakes. Big mistakes. Small mistakes. Lots of mistakes.”

“Is this supposed to be comforting?”

(Lila knows he’s only slightly less emotionally congested than her but, still, she expected better)

He leans closer, into her space - a dirty move that makes her breath catch. “Your mother and my father made mistakes too. The difference is they never saw them that way. Never tried to fix them. Never learned from them. . . They never tried to do better. To fix what they’d broken. They didn’t want to. . . That’s not us. That will never be us. Because, yeah, Lila we’re going to make a mess of things. A big huge stinking mess. But we’ll clean it up afterwards. And the next mess will be a little less messy.”

“I hate cleaning.”

His eye twitches. “Can you just- I’m trying to do a whole speech here.”

“I know and it’s a surprisingly good one.” Diego’s brow knits together like he’s not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. “Maybe instead of trying to save a president by cutting off some bloke’s trigger finger you should just run for office. I think you’d be brilliant.”

“I would suck as president. I’d stab someone within the first hour.”

“Like I said,” Lila wraps her arms around his neck with a grin, “Brilliant.”

(she’d vote to see that)

Diego rolls his eyes at this but rewards her masterful plan with a kiss. “You would make a pretty badass First Lady.”

. . .

[this is just a short excerpt from like the seventh chapter but I figured it would be a nice read after, well. . . everything]

Also here have some Lila and Diego fanart:

[11queensupreme11]

I didn’t finish my au about Percy getting teleported into the hobbit but it posted it anyway 🫥…

Au:

Throughout the entire quest Percy has killed so many Orcs and monsters with ease making Gandalf curious…how does she have a sword?..how is she so good with a weapon if she’s just a teenage girl?…Gandalf becomes suspicious but doesn’t find out she’s a child of the gods until they are surrounded by Azog and his followers..As Thorin was about to be killed bilbo is about to save him but instead Percy saves Thorin first.finally showing some of her power when defends Thorin…since I suck at describing fight scenes I’ll let it to your imagination…when the eagles save all of them Percy used her healing powers to heal Thorin a injuries shocking them more now knowing they had a child of the gods on their side..so they promise to help her find a way home and azog..ooohh azog…he knows now too…and he doesn’t keep quiet about it now everyone in all of middle earth the Mirkwood elves,the elves in Rivendell,dwarves,kings and queens all now hear that the company of Thorin Oakenshield have a god on their side making everyone shocked….and when they finally take Erabor back from Smaug Thorin becomes greedy..he forbids her from leaving and tries to control Percy into doing his every will and give him more power but when she refuses he tries to kill her and gets his butt beat..and because of that Percy goes with bilbo to give the Arkenstone to Thranduil and bard..they were both worried about the company being too powerful with a child of the gods on their side and the fact they don’t even know what the child of the gods look like so when bilbo arrives with Percy they don’t recognize her..so when they find out she is the child of the gods they try to convince Percy to join them and help them take down Thorin..she wants to deny and she only wants to go home..but they disagree Thranduil..Because he finally had someone powerful enough to steal back his wife’s gems..(and maybe because Percy reminds him of his wife very much) and Bard because Percy can help and protect the people of lake town..(also because he sees her as his child)..Gandalf wants her because she can help stop the war and she can help protect the company..during the beginning of the five armies the company demand Percy comes back while the Thranduil and bard demands she comes on their side..then Thorins cousin arrives and some hen he sees Percy he demands Percy is on their side…they all want Percy on their side so they all fight over it..then when azog comes he wants Percy so he can have more power(obviously) and joins the fight…and I’m getting very tired so Im sorry if I was very lazy with the ending..when Thorin comes to his senses and the army of elves,men, and dwarves reluctantly join together Percy finally joins the fight and uses a lot of her power taking down a lot of orcs…and she saves fili and Kili in the process..after the war they still fight over her but surprise surprise the summoning had a limited amount of time so while they fight over her she is sent away pissing them off as they try to summon her back..it never works again until…she is summoned again by the fellowship in the LOTR….thats all I got tell me if this idea is crap or not cause I think it would be a good story…especially if you wrote it..feel free to ignore this I just had an idea…

THERE'S MORE 🥳

"Thorin becomes greedy..he forbids her from leaving and tries to control Percy into doing his every will and give him more power but when she refuses he tries to kill her and gets his butt beat"

i got mixed results on thorin's height (saying he's 5'2" or between 4'5"-4'8") but he's a shortie regardless so i'm just imagining percy easily kicking him over LMAO

and thranduil.... 🤤

that name just awakened something in me.... 🤤 🤤 🤤

im pretty sure i had a huge ass crush on him when i was a kid (i'm probably gonna start looking at thranduil fics cuz of you lol)

[ctimenefic]

So @strawberry-daiquiris wrote an incredible F1 Traitors AU (seriously, go read it) and was kind enough to let me paddle around in the Galex end of the pool.

Many thanks to @latecomersprivilege, for whom this is a belated birthday gift, an almost on time Valentine's gift, and ultimately not what she asked for but what she's getting!

It’s a month since the last episode aired and George hasn’t messaged him.

Oh, he’s in the group chat - he’s the admin of the group chat. He’s posting memes, even the ones about himself, nearly every day. Asking very sincerely after people’s partners, their kids. Adding little crying laughing emojis to almost all the jokes. (Almost all - never Alex’s. Not even once. Which. Come on. Checo’s not even that funny.)

So. Yeah, it’d been bad, at the end, at their last round table together, George damp eyed and smiling through it and Alex nearly fumbling his own defence trying to tell him one more time “it’s just a game”.

But. Like. Not so bad as to cancel out everything else. Or at least, Alex had thought so. Hoped so.

It’s been a month.

Hey just wondering if we shd have a coffee or smthg? Clear the air?

Sure. When?

Nxt wk? Peckham?

(George told him all about his little flat in Dulwich, how he properly loved all the twee village-y shit like the wooden sign-posts and bougie cafes, in their murmured conversations in the hotel corridors, heads ducked together and voices low. Alex had taken the piss, but so softly he’d barely recognised his own cadence. That- that had been the first clue, before he’d started noticing how George’s adams apple bobbed when he got loud.

But Dulwich is packed to the brim with Traitors fans, has to be, all middle class mums and families that gather round the telly of an evening to actually spend time together. They’d be spotted in seconds. So Peckham feels safer, crowded and anonymous and too fucking cool to pay attention if Alex has to get on his knees and beg George to- to-)

The cafe’s still a bit posh, which means it’s basically deserted. George is wearing the kind of T-shirt that only fits that well because it’s expensive.

He’s ordered tea already, and Alex wants to remind him to drink up, like he did at breakfast every morning, because George would always get too into their conversation to finish before it got cold. He’d slug it back anyway, wincing, and Alex would pretend to ignore the line of his throat.

“I’m sorry you didn’t win,” George blurts. “I know I- I didn’t help, I know, but after, I did want it to be you. You’d worked so hard.”

Alex stares at him. “I never thought I would. Maybe near the end, a bit, but. Well. I got lucky.”

George pulls a face. “Come on, you were brilliant at it. So convincing. I really thought I’d find out you were, like, an actor or something.”

George smiles at that, small and tight. “Oh, yeah, the office have been so weird about it. Saying they didn't watch, and then making jokes that prove they did. I've stopped paying attention to it.”

Alex tries to laugh, like it’s a joke. Like he hadn’t talked George’s ear off about the practice. How he’d use the money, if they won - as Faithful - to get back to his veterinary degree, properly qualify. “Nah, still at my old place. They’ve, uh, let me take the backroom stuff for a bit, while it dies down.”

Alex nods. Pretends George has got better at lying. “Hope they're not being nasty.”

“Oh, not too bad.” The ‘too’ makes Alex want to snarl, set his teeth in someone's neck. Bastards. And George's blasé tone runs a little thin as he goes on. “Might quit, actually, try the influencer thing for a bit. It's basically the same as sales, just, you know. Different product.”

“You'd be good at that,” Alex tries. “Influential. I'd be, uh, influenced.” In the time it takes George to blink three times, Alex experiences all nine levels of hell and a few more added just for him.

I'd be influenced. Christ.

“How are you doing with that, sponsorships and stuff?” George asks and Alex shrugs. He’s got his fans, the ones who think he was robbed, rather than bottled it. His Insta’s big, now, not millions but, like, decent. Marketable. Problem is, he isn’t.

“Turns out, being known as a really good liar doesn’t get loads of hashtag spon ops,” he says, trying to keep it light. Like money hadn’t been the whole point. George’s face falls, the first unrehearsed expression Alex has seen all morning.

“Oh crikey, I’m sorry, I didn’t- cause it’s been alright, and I was a traitor too, at the end so-”

“Yeah, but I forced you into it, didn’t I? I’m the bad guy.” There’s a decent TikTok edit of him to that Billie Eilish song, all his smiles and laughs and fond looks, set to the beat of sociopathy. It’s very slick; turned his stomach on the second watch. “Plus, you know, you look like that, which probably helps.”

He knows it’s been more than alright for George. He hasn’t liked any of his Instagram posts, too… proud? ashamed? But he’s seen them all, including the Stories, so George must know he’s been there. Or maybe he doesn’t, maybe there’s hundreds of people, and they’re not mutuals, he remembers abruptly. George didn’t follow him back.

He flips his phone in his hands, once, twice; worries at the crack in the screen down by the bottom right corner, just enough to feel the scrape against the pad of his thumb.

George notices, of course. Those big blue eyes, all the better for spotting clues. Terrible at knowing what they meant. “Do you wanna take a picture for insta then? Show people it’s all water under the bridge?”

“Uh, not really? I mean…” it doesn’t feel under the bridge, or air cleared. Alex still feels like he’s choking on it.

That small wrinkle he used to make fun of appears between George’s brows. “Wasn’t that the point of this?”

“Jesus, no, I’m not-” Alex feels sick, properly sick, hot chocolate coming back on him for a second. “I wanted to be friends - I want to be friends. Again.”

“Again,” George repeats, after a beat.

Alex swallows. Presses the tip of his tongue against the edge of his front teeth, where they turn sharp enough to cut, like a bit of pain now will soothe the sucking void where his stomach used to be. “Right, no, of course. Forget it, look, I'll get these and-”

George catches his wrist before he can make a break for it. His thumb lands in the soft spot between the tendons, where Alex’s pulse beats - ha - traitorously fast.

“Wait. You haven't told me how your mum is. And your sisters. And Luca, obviously, and the cats.”

“The cats?”

“Yeah, obviously. Can't go before I hear about the cats, ‘Lex. All of them. So you should probably, um, sit back down.”

So he does.

[xoxoavenger]

Beats Me

pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

summary: Steve is good at getting beat up, which means Y/N has to be good at taking in (soulmate!AU where when a person’s soulmate gets hurt, they feel it as well)

word count: 6555

warnings: cannon typical violence

12 Days of Christmas Masterlist

main masterlist

"They haven't died, Robin." Y/N sighed out, finishing off her chips. The girls sat on top of the counter as they talked about soulmates, while Steve served ice cream to a group of kids. He had given them a dirty look when they told him they were both on break, making him work all by himself.

"I don't think I've ever gotten even a bruise from someone who wasn't me! Just a small cut when I was, like, seven." Robin was upset, jealous of the bruise Y/N had on the back of her thigh.

"Don't you think you would have felt it if they died?" Y/N asked, pressing on the bruise to see how tender it was. When she winced in pain, Robin blinked at her dumbly.

"I think there has to be something wrong!" Robin cried out, making everyone look at her.

"You should honestly be grateful." Y/N muttered, slipping off the counter as Steve took his hat off. She watched Robin do the same, and then the three of them were standing in the crowded space. The last kid paid, making them free.

"I'm going on break to piss, as long as you dumbasses can handle it." He smirked, and Y/N rolled her eyes, trying not to smile because her soulmate was out there and she was sure it wasn't Steve.

"Don't fall in." Y/N snarked back, watching as he turned and walked backward.

"I'm not even sitting." He put his hands up, and Y/N held back a laugh as he hit the side of the wall. He laughed, showing it didn't really hurt, before he was gone.

"Remind me how I should be grateful?" Robin grumbled, looking at Y/N. She rolled her eyes, leaning back against the back counter since there were no costumers currently.

"Because my soulmate must absolutely hate me." Y/N touched her hand to the side of her head, where almost a year ago she had collapsed in pain as her temple began bleeding. She had only a moment after that before she was rendered unconscious at the party she was at, waking up with so many bruises she was sure her soulmate had gone to the Hospital.

"Just because they get into fights?" Robin knew little about what actually happened, but she knew enough from what Y/N had talked about.

"Robin," She shook her head, thinking about the year before the party incident when she had thought the pain that had rendered her eye useless for hours would have been the worst of it. Every year, however, she was sorely mistaken. "I'm not saying it's the best thing for your soulmate to never give you marks. But I'd much rather have that then the hand I was dealt." Y/N put a hand on her temple, a phantom pain shooting through her skull.

"Have you ever tried to go find someone with matching bruises?" Robin asked, but suddenly a gaggle of kids came running in, and she was pulled away to actually work. Y/N let out a breath of relief.

She would never admit that the reason she didn't go find someone with matching wounds was because she was afraid. If her soulmate was getting this beat up, what kind of person were they? She wasn't sure she wanted to know.

~

"Go!" Y/N shouted, holding the door with Steve and Robin. She watched as Dustin and Erica hesitated before running in the opposite direction, and she took a deep breath as she was pushed away from the door. At least the kids were safe. The Russian who stared at them made Y/N's blood run cold, and she said a silent apology to whoever her soulmate was before she was pulled off the ground and put into handcuffs.

"Where are you taking them?" Steve asked as he was steered into a room while Y/N and Robin were pushed forward.

"No! Please, I promise we're not spies!" Robin pleaded, groaning as the two were thrown into a different room.

"You lucky we do not hit woman." A man with a thick mustache and an even thicker accent said, face showing disgust.

"What?" Y/N got out, but immediately she felt pain sear in her cheek. She gasped, hands moving against the cuffs she forgot about as she tried to touch her cheek.

This could not be happening now.

"What was that?" Robin muttered as the Russian turned his back, facing the door. He clearly didn't think Y/N or Robin were much of a threat.

"My soulmate just got hit." She muttered. She turned to Robin before a strong pain blossomed in her cheek. "Ow, fuck," She cried, feeling the blood starting to fall down her cheek. Whoever had punched them broke skin.

"Oh my God," Robin tried to scoot closer, and Y/N let out a loud groan when another hit fell in the same place.

"What's going on," Y/N gasped as the air seemed to leave her with pain in her middle. Tears formed in her eyes, pain clouding everything now. She screamed as another hit landed, catching the attention of the guard. These hits felt different than the other ones she had endured in past years somehow. The guard just stared for a moment, not sure what to do.

"I never told you this because I wanted to tell Steve first but I didn't know how," Robin started rambling, and Y/N cried out once more as her nose tingled, blood beginning to run down it. The guard ran out, realizing the two of them couldn't - wouldn't - leave. "But Steve was beat up at the same time as you said your soulmate was - or, around the same time. He got in a fight with Jonathan Byers and then with Billy Hargrove - that was the time you were knocked out." Y/N felt another kick to her stomach, and she almost threw up as she doubled over, trying to listen to Robin.

"But Steve, he - we would have noticed," Her heart raced, because if that was true Steve was being tortured right now. He was being tortured and he was alone.

"When you showed up the day Steve was gone, with that mark around your forearm, Steve had the same one." Robin was word vomiting, tears running down her face because her best friends were in so much pain and there was nothing she could do. "He didn't know who you were before we got the job. He didn't notice the small marks, and you never went out during the big ones." Y/N looked at Robin, fear in her eyes as blood was running all over her face. It was coming down her nose and out of her mouth and from a cut coming from her temple and the broken skin around her eye.

"You can't tell him." She begged, arms still struggling with her handcuffs. "Please, Robin, promise me!" She knew Robin wouldn't, that she had known before Steve or Y/N had, but in that moment the three of them were out of their minds anyway.

"I won't, but Y/N," Robin stopped as she watched Y/N's eyes go wide before rolling to the back of her head. She fell to the ground, unconscious, and Robin let out a screech because that meant Steve was all alone and unconscious with the Russians in a different room.

"Help, please!" Robin knew it was futile, but she held a gasp and tried to stop her tears when three men showed up. She screamed out as one of them grabbed her, the other two picking Y/N up by her arms and dragging her along. "Get your hands off me!" She screamed before being thrown into the room, head bouncing painfully on the concrete. She looked over to see an unconscious Steve. Him and Y/N were laying side by side, matching blood marks decorating their faces.

"What did you do to him?" She cried, trying (and failing) to stay calm. She was alone in this. Anything they did to Steve, Y/N would feel, and vice versa. "What did you do!" She was backhanded, falling to the ground once more as she whimpered in pain, tears coming to her eyes.

They ignored her, manhandling her into a chair and tying her to it. "Don't touch me!" She screamed, watching as her friends were put into chairs behind her, their heads falling with gravity. She tried to turn and look at Steve and Y/N, but she couldn't see very much. "Steve? Steve, wake up! What did you do?" She was struggling against the ropes, the dead weight on the other side making her sick.

She turned enough to see the lead Russian pulling Y/N's face up by the hair, the girl not even whimpering since she was knocked out.

"Don't touch her." Robin threatened, even though she knew there was nothing she could do. "Steve, Y/N, can you hear me?" She was still wiggling about, voice shaking.

"I think your friends need a doctor." The guard stopped in front of Robin. "Good thing, we have the very best." The Russians began laughing, and Robin felt her face heat and heart racing.

Robin spit in the Russian's face, and the laughing stopped. She kept her chin up, even through the wobble.

"You're going to regret that." The Russian wiped his face and then walked out, the others following.

"Steve? Y/N? Please, please wake up now." Robin was on the verge of a panic attack, her brain going too fast as her stomach rolled.

"Help!" Robin was repeating the word, yelling it out as if it were the only thing she knew how to say. When Steve came to, his head was pounding and he was sure everything that was supposed to be in his skull had shifted.

"Hey, would you stop yelling?" He slurred, head still bowed.

"Steve! Oh my God!" Her first thought was that she had to tell him about Y/N. She had to tell him that she knew who his soulmate was.

But she promised Y/N she wouldn't.

"Steve, are-are you okay?" She was getting an assessment on both of their injuries, knowing they'd be the same.

"My ears are ringing and I can't really breathe, my eye feels like it's about to pop out of my skull." He muttered, jaw aching just at breathing. He turned to Y/N, who was still slumped over next to him. "What-why is she asleep?" He was afraid of the answer, knowing what he had been through.

"She - uh - she was tortured. They, um, they hit her." Robin wasn't sure what else to say, but she heard Steve let out a whimper and she closed her eyes, glad he couldn't see her face.

"What?" Steve winced as he yelled out, but he couldn't help it.

"Holy hell," Y/N muttered, and Robin let out a breath of relief. Both of them were awake. They could do this.

"Oh, thank God," She let a tear of relief fall before she turned, hoping will all her might this plan would work.

"Ah," Y/N whimpered as she began to feel the extent of her injuries - Steve's injuries. She had no clue how he was able to just sit there, because she felt like her bones were going to pop out of her skin.

"Okay, do you guys see that table over there?" Robin looked to her left at the table she had been eying, the one with the scissors.

"Other way." Y/N corrected when Steve looked straight at her.

"Oh," He said softly, mouth opened weirdly because it was the most comfortable position. She hoped he wouldn't be able to notice that their faces were the same, that the reason she looked like this - felt like this - was because of him.

"Do you see those scissors?" Robin asked. Y/N couldn't really see them, but she trusted they were there.

"Yeah," Steve confirmed, slow to process things. He had run out of adrenaline and was ready to crash.

"Yeah, well, I think that if we all move at the same time, we could get over there, and then maybe I could kick the table and knock them into Steve's lap and he can cut us out." Robin sounded so hopeful, and Y/N sighed as Steve nodded.

"Yeah, we can do that. Those morons. They left scissors in here?" Steve asked with a slight chuckle, Robin making a joyful sound.

"They left scissors in here because they tied us off balance." Y/N muttered, leaning her head back. She longed to be knocked back out, longed to just be able to forget about the pain.

"No, we can do it!" Steve insisted, but Y/N just shook her head, tears falling from her eyes.

"We can't." Her voice cracked embarrassingly, but she didn't have the thought to do anything but try and breathe.

"She's right." Robin muttered, taking a deep breath. "If we try to jump at the same time, and one of us happens to miss it, we all fall on Y/N." She had known all along that this wouldn't work, but she had wanted it to so badly. She looked back at the scissors.

They were almost there.

"I cannot believe," Robin started, almost smiling. She was going insane, she knew it. "I am going to die in a Russian base with Steve 'The Hair' Harrington." She let out a chuckle, and Y/N smiled slightly, because what else could they do.

"We're not gonna die. We're gonna get out of here, okay?" Steve's voice was low and gravely, a sign he was holding back tears. Y/N thought briefly that she should tell him that they were soulmates, wondered if he'd believe her, if the marks on her face were evidence enough.

The guilt she knew he would feel is what kept her from doing it. If they were going to die, why would she make him spend his last moments guilty just to tell him she was his soulmate? It's not like it mattered anyway.

"Just - you gotta let me just think for a second." His mind was racing, because he needed a way to get himself, Y/N and Robin all out, and then somehow find Henderson and Erica. "There has to be a way."

"Oh? We're gonna get out of here?" Y/N asked sarcastically, knowing it wasn't helping. "Do you see a large exit sign?" Yelling made her ribs tighten and hurt.

"Let me think!" He yelled back, feeling sick.

"About what?" She matched his volume, but then gagged as it made her pain increase. "What do you need to think about, Steve? We're going to die in this hell hole!" She felt the tears running down her face - she was afraid to die.

"No, no, don't cry." He tried to comfort, but it was no use. There was nothing he could do to fix this, and they all knew it.

"Y/N," Robin muttered, and Y/N pretended she didn't hear the tone of her friend's voice telling her to confess to Steve.

"If we're going to die here, I want you to know that I don't regret it." Y/N said finally, hoping that would somehow fix whatever bad feelings Steve was having.

"What?" Steve muttered, looking over to her.

"Neither do I." Robin answered, voice shaky but confident. "We saved Dustin and Erica." No one pointed out that they didn't know that for sure.

"And if we make it out of here, we know what the Russians are planning." Y/N added, hoping the optimism would make the situation better.

"Well, I do." Steve admitted, causing the other two girls to go rigid. "If I could go back in time, I would keep us all from coming in here. I would stop myself from applying at the mall. If I weren't here, none of this would have happened." Steve whispered, voice breaking as he leaned his head back. Y/N felt her heart break for him. "I mean, I don't even want to think about what I've put my soulmate through." He said it quietly, but it still made Y/N's breath hitch. She knew she had to tell him.

"Steve, if we really are going to die, you should know-" The door opening cut her off, and they all looked over to see the Russians entering again, the Doctor in tow.

"Had some time to strategize, yes?" The leader asked, but none of them responded with anything other than glares. He walked over and crowched in front of Steve. "Try telling the truth this time, yes? It will make your visit with Dr. Zharkov less painful." He pet Steve's hair, and Steve tilted his head away, bile rising at the thought of this man touching him. They watched as the doctor walked in front of them, a large needle in a gun contraption in his hand.

"Wait a second. Wait. Hold on. Okay! Wait, wait, wait! What is that thing?" He screamed as they walked right up to Y/N. Steve must have had his brain scrambled, because as scared as he was, he couldn't help but say the next words. "Try it on me! Don't hurt her. I'm the one that knows the most information." This wasn't a lie, and he would say anything to get the needle away from Y/N.

As it turns out, his heroics didn't mean a thing, because Y/N was injected minutes after. His head was starting to become fuzzy, and he began to feel much more happy. He remembers laughing, he remembers an alarm helping them get out. He remembers Dustin driving. More laughing. A weird movie. Some lights. And then they were throwing up.

If Y/N ever said what she wanted to, he doesn't remember it. None of them do. And he figured if it was important, she would have told him after.

~

"That little dumbass was right." Y/N groaned as they watched the compass go crazy. She was so busy staring at it that she didn't notice Steve was untieing his shoes.

"Steve, what are you doing?" Nancy asked, causing Y/N to look up at him.

"Somebody's gotta gown down there and check this thing out." He didn't look at them as he slipped his shoes off. "Unless one of you three can top being a Hawkins High swim co-captain and a certified lifeguard for three years, then it's gotta be me. No complaints, all right?" He was using the voice he used when he told the kids that he was only taking them one of the many places they wanted to go.

"You always do this." Y/N said without thinking. Everyone looked at her, but she just stared at Steve. "You always act like you're the best person - the only person suited for a job when really, your self-sacrificing nature is kicking into overdrive!" She cried out, trying not to pay attention to Robin's burning gaze. It was quiet for a moment and her and Steve stared at each other.

"Well, my self-sacrificing nature is really coming in handy today, isn't it?" Steve stood up and took his sweater off, and Y/N just turned to look at Robin's shoes as Eddie put a flashlight in a bag for Steve.

"Good luck," Eddie said, and Y/N pulled her lips in tight before looking up at him one last time.

"Be careful," She muttered, watching him nod and then dive into the dark water.

Y/N and Robin shared a look as the watch hand made it all the way around the numbers, meaning Steve had been down there for one minute already. They both knew what the other was thinking.

Would Y/N feel it if Steve drowned?

She slightly shook her head at Robin, indicating that she hadn't felt any sort of pain.

Y/N wondered for a moment if she would die when Steve died, or if it would just feel like her heart had been pulled from her chest.

"That's it," Y/N muttered, toeing off her shoes.

"Absolutely not," Eddie grabbed her arm at the same time that Nancy pulled her hand to sit her down. Y/N pushed them away, giving when a confused look.

"Where was this when Steve was going in?" She asked, taking off her sweater quickly.

"I probably shouldn't say this," Eddie licked his lips, not looking at any of them and instead at the water. "But Steve specifically asked me not to let you go headfirst into danger. And this seems like exactly what he was talking about." Eddie began to pull her down while she took in his words, eyes squinted and mouth open.

"When? Why?" She asked before remembering the fact that Steve was in the water still. There wasn't time to waste. She took a deep breath, about to jump in when Steve surfaced, taking a deep breath as everyone jumped.

"Holy shit," Eddie breathed out in relief. He did not want to be responsible if Y/N were to get hurt.

"I found it!" He announced, grabbing onto the side of the boat.

"You found it?" Nancy repeated excitedly.

"Dustin, you're a goddamn Einstein. Steve found the gate." Robin said into the walkie, all of them elated that they had found the gate and stayed safe.

"It's pretty wild. It's more of a snack-size gate than the mama gate, but still, it's pretty damn big." Steve explained, still in the water.

"Great, let's get you up here." Y/N went to grab his arm, but then Steve was suddenly underwater. Y/N felt something on her own ankle, but she shrugged it off as she tried to grab for Steve. He resurfaced quickly, looking straight at her with scared eyes before he was going back in the water, an arm jutting out as he lost his hold on the boat.

The hard pressure she felt on her ankle kept Y/N from immediately jumping in after Steve. She let out a gasp as she felt pressure in her lungs as well, and she watched numbly as Nancy dove in. Y/N snapped out of it, pushing away the dull pain and diving. Robin and Eddie weren't far behind.

As fast as she wished she could swim, the tentacles pulling Steve down were quicker. She felt the thud on her back as Steve was smacked onto the ground, but continued to swim, now able to see the gate. She watched Nancy pull herself through. She was so close! She almost-

Y/N let out a scream as her shoulders erupted in pain, twisting her body and forgetting she was underwater. She couldn't imagine what was causing this pain to Steve, and she instinctively reached for her back even though she knew it was hopeless.

Robin and Eddie were approaching her, scared as she was no longer swimming and beginning to float upward, the red light from the gate illuminating her figure. She was clutching at her throat, clawing as she felt it begin to close. It felt like someone was using barbed wire to choke her. She instinctively tried to breathe in, but she began to choke on the water. She couldn't even think about what Steve was going through, her brain only focused on the pain. Water stung her eyes as she opened them widely.

Steve choked as the bat wrapped its sharp tail around his throat, but the tickle in his lungs was worse than that. Before he could realize what was going on, a bat dug into his flesh. Then another one. Steve gasped out in pain, letting out a scream before choking at the feeling that ran through his lungs and his throat. He cried out, pulling on the bat tail as he tried to wiggle away from than extreme pain.

Steve wanted to die. The thought of putting his soulmate through this was too much for him. They had already gone through so much. He hoped he was wrong with who he thought it was. He hoped it was anyone but her.

Y/N was convulsing as blood dyed the water red. Pain erupted in her sides, and as she took in water she had a thought that this wasn't making things any better for Steve. She saw a blurry figure grab her arm, but she knew she was a goner by then.

She was going to drown. She hoped Steve wouldn't feel it.

Nancy was fighting off the bats alone when Robin and Eddie came through the gate coughing. They pulled Y/N through the gate, Robin already crying.

"She needs CPR!" Eddie yelled, doing a double take when he noticed Nancy with a bat gripping onto her back.

"Steve!" Robin ran over, watching Steve gasp. She wasn't sure if Steve could feel Y/N dying, if he felt the water in his lungs or if it was too late.

"Why is she bleeding?" Eddie screeched, seeing the blood staining her wet shirt. There was a mark around her neck, one that he was sure wasn't there before she dove in. He noticed Steve was still struggling with the bats, and the girls were also still fighting. He shook his head as he began to count to thirty as he pumped on her chest, wishing she would just spit up the water. When she didn't, and Steve still hadn't gotten up, Eddie really hoped that they weren't soulmates.

He was going to have to breathe for her.

"Please don't kill me," Eddie muttered to Steve - knowing he wouldn't hear it - before grabbing her mouth and breathing into her lungs. He had only learned CPR in his junior year health class, which had been three years ago. He was pretty sure he was doing it to the right beat, and when he finished breathing he began pumping again.

"No," He heard Steve say from the side, but he was focused on making Y/N breathe. As he finished the pumping, he noticed Steve was on his knees and wheezing, Robin by his side.

"Oh my God," Nancy muttered, hand over her face as she realized what was going on. Eddie grabbed Y/N's mouth and breathed once more.

"I can't breathe," Steve muttered, hands clutching his throat. Robin was crying because she honestly wasn't sure if they would both die if Y/N didn't breathe again.

"If she doesn't cough it up soon," Nancy muttered, and Eddie just shook his head.

"I know," He watched as she finally coughed out, breathing deeply. Steve fell to his front, gasping for air.

"Fuck," Y/N whimpered, looking down at her torso as pain flooded up. "Oh my God, what the hell?" She cried, laying back down and hitting her head against the grey dirt. Eddie finally sat back and looked around, noticing where they were for the first time. Y/N's hands shook as she held them over her torso, not sure if it would be better if she touched them or just let them be. She couldn't even take in the fact that they were in the Upside Down.

"Oh shit," Steve muttered as he looked at Y/N's matching wounds, thinking about all the pain he was in right now. All the pain he was in last year at Starcourt. The pain as Billy smashed a plate over his head. When Jonathan beat him up.

All of that pain, Y/N had dealt with it.

"You weren't tortured in Starcourt." He said, which sounded like the worst thing to say. He knew in the back of his mind that she wasn't, that it was strange that she had matching marks and Robin was fine, but with the proof, staring at the blood staining her shirt in the exact spots he just battled with the bats-

"Seriously?" Y/N muttered, tears welling in her eyes as she tried to forget about the pain. How was Steve even breathing? She turned to the side and coughed more, which caused more pain, and she threw up some water. Everything just hurt so bad. "How are you even breathing right now?" She groaned, hands balling into fists and hitting the ground as she tried to pretend like it hurt less than it did.

"Fuck," Steve muttered as he looked at the bats in the distance. "Shit, okay, we need to get back to Hawkins," Steve said, but Y/N was practically passed out. There was no way she could swim all the way up. He wasn't even sure if he could.

They all looked over to the gate, which was starting to become gaurded by bats. That was out of the question now.

"We need to get to the woods. We can't fight them." Nancy said as Steve stood, wishing there was a way for him to help Y/N. With the pain he was in, it was impossible for him to do anything but stand and look around.

"Nancy, help me with Y/N. Eddie," Robin nodded toward Steve, and Eddie grabbed Steve to let him lean against him. Together, they all made their way to woods as quickly as possible, somehow outrunning the bats.

"I-I can't keep running. We have to hide." Y/N muttered, feet beginning to drag and making it harder for Nancy and Robin. She winced as her toes were stubbing against the ground, regretting taking off her shoes. "I'm sorry, I don't," She began to fall and the girls lurched forward, practically carrying her to the rock and letting her lay down against it.

"I'm so sorry." Steve said as he leaned against the rock.

"I cannot believe anything hurts worse than the Russians." Y/N strained, pressing her head into the back of the rock and holding her hands against the large open wounds on her torso. She turned to see Steve, bare chested and blood dripping down to his pants. "How are you still standing?" She asked, barely able to hear anything over the roar of bats thundering overhead.

"Oh God," Steve muttered as his eyes fluttered, Robin moving to his side to try and help.

"Do you think those bats had rabies?" Robin blurted, causing Y/N to groan.

"Robin," Y/N and Steve complained, their sides throbbing. "What? I'm worried!" Robin cried out, hands hovering over Steve's mutilated flesh. Y/N pulled her shirt up to uncover the matching ones on her own torso.

"Okay, Steve you take this," Nancy ripped off the bottom of her shirt, handing it to Robin so she could wrap it around Steve. "Y/N, we have to use your shirt." She grimaced at Y/N, who sighed. She knew that there was nothing else to dress her wounds with, and Steve didn't even have a shirt.

"Here," Eddie bent down to help Y/N move forward while Nancy assisted in taking off her thin, soaked t-shirt. She thanked God she had put a bra on this morning. She would be more embarrassed about everyone seeing her shirtless if she wasn't in a life threatening situation.

"Oh fuck," Steve muttered out, and Y/N felt the searing pain.

"Please just do it," She begged Nancy, who pulled her lips tight and began wrapping the shirt around her waist. She let out a cry at the pain, nails digging into her palms. The pain was radiating up her body. The scrapes on her back were menial compared to the puckered skin that was now soaking her t-shirt in blood.

"We have to get back to Hawkins," Robin said, her voice tight and croaky with emotion.

"Where even are we?" Eddie asked as he stood, looking around.

"This is what the Russians were trying to open, isn't it?" Y/N asked as she turned to see Steve starting to stand. Robin grabbed Y/N's hand and helped her up, making sure she was steady as she leaned on the large rock.

"Yeah," Steve sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes. Just as he was about to speak again, an earthquake shook the ground. Y/N cried out as she fell forward, Steve falling against the rock next to her. They both screamed as the pain of Y/N falling on her torso flooded through them.

"We have to leave this hell hole." Eddie said, and Y/N just nodded as she pushed herself up again. She wanted this all to end, and she noticed her eyelids feeling heavier.

"No, no, no you don't." Steve said as he saw her leaning forward again.

"Shit," Robin began to run over, but Nancy grabbed her before she could get too far.

"Don't step on the vines!" She warned, making them all aware of the vines. "You step on one, you wake up Vecna. It's a hive mind." Robin's eyes widened, looking all around them.

"How are we gonna get through here?" Eddie asked, looking very concerned. Y/N was starting to think that was his default expression.

"This isn't even the worst of it." Steve said, still supporting Y/N even though they both were bleeding through the makeshift bandages. They were beginning to shiver in the coldness of the Upside Down, and Y/N wished she hadn't pulled off her sweater. "Those bats aren't the only creatures here."

"Jesus Christ," Eddie groaned as he pulled off both his jackets. He threw them both at Y/N and Steve, almost taking them out. "We aren't leaving your asses here, so you can't go pass out on us now." He watched as Steve gave Y/N the leather jacket, taking the short sleeved jean one for himself.

"We have to get something to get rid of the bats at the gate." Y/N said, shaking her head slightly to think more clearly.

"Can you even swim like this?" Steve pointed out. She sighed.

"We have to get back through a gate, right?" She looked at the others nodding, even though she knew what the answer was. "We don't know where any other gates are. We have to find a way to get through the gate."

"Maybe we can go to the police station and get guns and grenades and things that we need to fight," Robin was fake smiling at the idea, but the rest of them seemed less than hopeful.

"Oh yeah, because Hawkins PD is gonna have grenades." Steve was shooting down all ideas, and Y/N wanted to hit him.

"Well what would you like to do?" She asked, tone annoyed and upset at his pessimism.

"I don't know! I'm thinking of you! Can you even fight the bats?" He questioned, which pissed her off.

"Can you?" She shot back, but he kept on speaking.

"And let's say we manage to get the guns and grenades. What then? You're gonna swim? I know how much pain you're in. We can't swim to the top." He was being honest, Y/N knew that if he couldn't swim to the top there was no way she was going to make it.

"We have to try." She said, knowing she sounded like a dumbass.

"We don't have to go all the way to the police station to get guns. I have guns. In my bedroom." Nancy said, and Y/N just blinked.

"You, Nancy Wheeler, have guns, plural, in your bedroom?" Eddie repeated, and Y/N just nodded.

"Of course you do," She muttered, because what did Nancy not have?

Oh fuck she was jealous of Nancy.

She didn't look at Steve, because she knew he was studying her and that he would see she was jealous of Nancy and he just found out they were soulmates, he doesn't need to know that she was jealous of his ex.

When she did look up at him they locked eyes, and Steve's smirk told her everything she needed to know.

"This place is exactly like Hawkins, right? So we just need to somehow get to the Wheeler's?" Robin questioned, and Steve nodded.

"Basically,"

"Well," Y/N stood up straighter, trying not to show that even that was a feat. "What are we waiting for?"

~

"Did you know?" Steve asked, not looking at Y/N. They were walking behind the others, who knew they would need time.

"I did." She answered simply, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "I figured it out when you were being tortured." She turned to see him wincing at the memory.

"I'm sorry." He said, knowing he was the cause of most of their shared pain. "I'm sorry about sophomore year when I broke my wrist, and junior year when I got in that fight with Jonathan. I also got attacked by that stupid demogorgan that started this all, and that hurt. I'm sorry for that fight a couple years ago, I'm sure that wasn't fun." Steve wasn't even pausing to breathe as he apologized, and Y/N had stopped walking as she blinked at him.

"Steve," She reached a hand out, but he just shook his head.

"I'm sorry for getting you involved in the Russian thing. I'm sorry for getting involved in this in the first place." He finally stopped talking and looked up at her, and she just squeezed his bicep.

"Steve, you don't have to apologize." She told him, the fast beating of her heart taking over the pain in her torso. "Besides, if we're keeping track, I'm sorry for this." She lifted her hand and traced his lower lip, where there was a scar from when she ran down stairs Christmas morning and split her bottom lip open.

"I'm sorry for this," he took his turn to trace her cheek, where there was a thin line that ran up her cheekbone. "I'm actually really sorry about the bruises that came every so often. My dad, he," Just as Steve was opening up his heart, the earth shook and they lurched forward, unsteady. Steve grabbed her arms as he groaned, his back hitting a tree and causing both of them pain.

"Guys!" Eddie yelled as soon as they were on steady ground, running back to them. "Nancy just ran off, but we're almost to the house!" Y/N and Steve looked over his shoulder to see Robin running, Nancy no where in sight.

"Well shit." Steve said, still holding Y/N tightly.

"Look, I know you guys just found out you're soulmates or whatever, but we have awhile until we get out of this hellscape. And I'm not spending all of it third wheeling." Eddie began walking, and Y/N and Steve looked at each other, jumping apart.

"We just found out, man." Steve rolled his eyes, following.

"Did you?" Eddie barely looked over his shoulder, but they could both tell he was smirking. "Because I distinctly remember you telling me to make sure-"

"Okay, Eddie!" Steve cut the other man off, and when Y/N looked at him she could tell he was blushing. "We get it."

"I'm just saying, you both knew." He shrugged, falling back to where they were walking. "Also, I don't know the way to Wheeler's house, so it'd be great if you love birds could light the way."

"Eddie," Y/N groaned, now blushing herself.

"Just don't forget about the fact that I saved your life, L/N." He turned to Steve and winked. "By doing mouth to mouth."

"Oh my God." Y/N slapped a hand over her mouth, not looking at Steve. She knew exactly what Eddie was doing, teasing Steve like this, and she just shook her head.

"I'm going to give you to Vecna if you don't shut up." Steve threatened, looking straight ahead.

"Your boyfriend is a murderer!" Eddie turned to Y/N, and she could tell why the kids loved him as a DM. He definitely had the theatrics for it.

"Not yet." She pointed out, thanking her lucky stars when Nancy's house showed up and they finally came out of the woods.

"This is concerning." Eddie muttered, but Y/N and Steve just smirked at each other across Eddie.

This was going to work well.

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @roxaya @sadbitchfangirl @gloryekaterina @lostcause1 @oblivion-void @alexshaff2002 @m-rae23 @icequeen1371 @freezaz123

(if your name is crossed out it means that for some reason I could not tag you)

[bloodyknucklesforme]

Scotch | Restaurant AU

Kyle and Nina's relationship, aged for five years.

tw: angst, mention of sexual assault and aftermath, self harm, familial death, injury

June 2017

"You enlisted?" Her jaw was tight, keeping the muscles firm to stop herself from crying.

"Yeah... I just don't know what I want to do and I need more time." They'd just finished their A-levels. One last summer before University.

"You can take a fucking gap year, Kyle!" She sat down on his bed, head in her hands

"I just need to be doing something. You see all that shite on the news!"

"So you're going to stop Al-Qatala? Is that it?"

"Of course not!"

It felt like he put a knife in her belly and twisted it. He, out of anyone, should have known how that uniform makes her feel. That she grew up in fear of it, hid herself from it, resented it.

"You said we'd go to uni together." It was happening again. It was them against the world until it was due for the next life stage and he'd leave her behind. Like when they were kids and as soon as they hit double digits he didn't want to be friends with a girl anymore. He was turning eighteen and didn't want a girlfriend anymore. Didn't want her.

"I was never going to get into the same schools as you, Neen. You're incredible and work hard."

"So do you. It's not like I'm going to Cambridge. It's Queen Mary. You can get in. I'll go to a different school if I have to. I'm studying fucking English literature. It's not hard to find a program." She pleaded.

"I'm not going to hold you back."

"You're not." Her voice finally breaking down into a cry.

"Hey, hey. Nim. Look at me." he knelt down in front of her. "Nothing is going to change. You're still my best friend."

Friend

"Are you breaking up with me?" She looked up at him, trembling.

His reassuring smile was replaced with a more embarrassed look.

"I won't ask you to wait for me all that time."

Four years was the minimum. Once he enlisted they had him for four years. She'd have graduated by then. All her future plans turned to fantasy. She wanted to graduate together, move in together, date for a few more years, travel, get engaged, get married. She would have waited for him.

She got up, contorting uncomfortably to avoid touching him.

"I'm just gonna go." She started to gather up her things.

"Nina... I love you. That's not what this about. You deserve more than me being away all that time."

"You never had to leave in the first place." She slammed his bedroom door, ignoring his little sister's peaking from down the hall and his mum's calling to ask if everything was okay. She didn't slam the front door, she wouldn't do that to Mrs. Garrick.

She started to sob as she closed their front gate. She walked towards the woods. Trudged through the underbrush and leaf litter left from last Autumn.

They built a fort out here years ago. Saved up pocket money, raided rubbish bins. Built a little wooden box. She was sure only they knew about it. She never found evidence to the contrary. It still stood out there, hidden under old ivy and branches.

She crawled inside and pulled her knees to her chest. She never told Kyle this was where she always went to cry. Her father hated the sound of crying, would turn into a spectacle in front of the whole family for you to explain why you were so upset. She couldn't admit that Kyle had dumped her again.

She chewed at the skin around her nails till the blood stained her nails.

He was sent to basic training a week later. She never said goodbye. Her mum said he'd stopped by one day.

"Kyle said he'll write to you while he's gone and answer if you called."

September 2017 - June 2018

She went to London alone. It was fine until it wasn't. She met a boy that reminded her of Kyle until he didn't. It was a party for the return of term after Christmas holiday. He said he would take her home. She just wanted to go home.

She tried not to blame herself but all her new friends turned against her. He said that she lied about it because she was actually cheating on him. That she was slut. He was so much more popular than her.

She could call Kyle but they hadn't talked in months. She spent so many nights starring at her phone, her hand overing over his name in her contacts.

She stopped going to class. One of her professor's reached out, asked if she was okay, offered to let her turn in things late. She felt too ashamed to answer their email, letting it rot in her inbox while her assignments sat unfinished on her desktop.

She failed everything of course. She couldn't go home. Her parents wouldn't ask how class went, they'd want to see them. She told them she would buy her own train ticket home and then never did.

She packed her things and went to Price's flat. Showing up like a stray dog.

"You can talk to me, you know. I'm not your dad but I care about you, Nina. Whatever you tell me, it'll be between us."

She felt like she had an aura of victimhood around her. Was it that obvious?

She stayed the Summer, learning how to cook and bake. It kept her mind off things. Made the excuse that Price needed a flat sitter while he was deployed or at training.

August 2018

"I'm back for a couple weeks. I was wondering if I could stop by and see you." It had only been a year but he sounded so much more grown. She wondered if he looked different. She knew she did.

"I'm not at home. I'm still in London. I er... I'm staying with Price. Like housesitting, I guess."

"Would it be okay if I came to visit? I can get a hotel or find a mate to stay with. Some guys in my unit have families nearby and I just really want to see you Nina."

She clenched her jaw tightly. Would he be disappointed in her? She failed, she hadn't told anyone she hadn't registered for Autumn yet and most likely wouldn't. She wanted to see him.

She was incredibly lonely. More than ever. Price was wonderful but he was twenty years her senior and the friends he had over for dinner even more so. She wanted her best friend.

"Let me ask Price."

Price said he could stay. She'd moved to a cot in the unused second bedroom. Kyle could take the couch. As long as they behaved Price said he could stay.

Kyle looked grown. He looked bigger, muscles built up, he stood up straighter. He was so gorgeous standing out in front of building. She was a sailor seeing land for the first time in months. She ran down the front steps and threw herself into his arms.

"I'm sorry."

"No. I'm sorry." He hugged her to his chest. He smelled the same, his heart sounded the same, his voice calmed her the same. That's what mattered.

They went on a walk after he dropped his things off.

"I did it on a whim, you know. I never wanted to hurt you. I just panicked and that was it. I'm sorry I broke my promise."

"It's okay. I just... I always feel like I'm a second choice and I felt like I must have done something wrong to make you leave." She bit down on her trembling lip.

Kyle cupped her cheeks, using his thumb to pull her lip down from between her teeth.

"You didn't do anything, Nina. I thought you every day. I kept trying to write but I didn't know what to say beyond i miss you and it just never felt good enough. I didn't call because I was afraid you wouldn't answer."

"I'm sorry for not reaching out either. I missed you and I'd met this guy and..." She could tell him right here in this park. She'd just gotten him back. She'd been telling herself it wasn't her fault. What if he thought differently? He was already slipping from her grasp like water. She left her sentence unended.

"I get it...are you and him still together?" His gaze darted around, avoiding putting her on the spot.

"No." She shook her head. She was so small. She was small and scared and the ground was crumbling all around her. She made the leap into his arms, crying into his chest. Let him think that it was just her broken heart. "He wasn't you..."

2019

It didn't have a label. Too much time between seeing each other to really call it dating but neither would have sought out different partners when they were separated. It was nice honestly.

She liked being the thing he came back to. Despite his best efforts she was always waiting for him. She never minded. Picking him up at the airport was always the best part of any season.

She never went back to Uni. Told her parents she wanted a gap year or two or three. She fully moved into Price's spare room, got a job at a local cafe, paid him rent.

Kyle was allowed to stay with her in her room when he was around.

She cried the first time they tried to have sex again. Blamed it on hormones. The second time was better. Third they actually finished. Fourth time she cried again.

"You alright, Neen?" He rubbed his nose against her shoulder.

"Just in my head too much, I guess." He kissed her cheek.

"You can talk to me."

"I'm okay. I promise."

The fifth time was better.

October 2021

Price asked her to help him open a restaurant. His forced retirement left him without much to do during the day. He entrusted her with a lot. She felt proud of her work. She liked being proud of something, hearing Price's praise.

It was October 25th. They hoped to be opened before Christmas, preferably late November.

It was her, Price and Simon, the only other employee at the time. Nina was sketching out various layouts for front of house. Price was behind the bar, preparing another wine tasting for the three of them. Simon was making family dinner in the back.

There was a rumble and all the glass in the building shook. She looked up at Price.

"Explosion" he muttered. They sat in silence as sirens picked up, crying a cruel sad song. Simon came out from the back. Her heart sank hearing distant screaming.

Their phones went off in a buzzing alarm. Explosion and shooting at Piccadilly. Her hands started shaking.

She'd talked to Kyle only a couple days before. He said he was going to be working in London for a little bit. He could be there. He could be dead already. He could be dying right now.

She kept refreshing twitter, scanning photos and videos for him. Price sat down next to her, rubbing her back.

"He'll call you as soon as he can."

"What if he never does?"

His mum called later that night. He was hurt in the initial explosion and was in hospital. She and his dad were driving down but it would be hours before they got there. Nina was out the door within seconds.

She and his family took shifts watching over him. Burns on his arms and chest, broken wrist, ribs and femur but no brain damage. He was groggy, eyes opening to scan the room before falling back asleep. She held his hand as much as she could. Sometimes when he woke up, he'd see her and squeeze her hand.

He'd stay with her and Price while recovering and doing physical therapy. His military career was over though. He stared at their bedroom wall alot. Price did the same when he was medically discharged. Unable to think of what to do with himself, all structure gone from his life. Left only with pain, scars a leg that twitched.

"I don't think I deserve you." He said as she fluffed up his pillows.

"What do you mean?" She frowned.

"You're too good to me."

"I love you. When you love someone you take care of them."

"You're making me blush." He took her hand and kissed it. "I'll pay you back someday."

April 2022

"You have to move out someday." Kyle said, kissing her forehead. He'd gotten a flat with two other guys he met in the army. It was nice and they, surprisingly, had more privacy here than at Price's, where she still lived. He wanted them to move in together. They'd been officially dating again for over a year.

"I like paying very low rent." She kissed his chest, careful of his burn scars. He chuckled.

"Yeah but in our place I could fuck you whenever I wanted."

"Whenever you want?"

"Whenever we want." He gave her arse a squeeze. "My lease ends in August."

"I'd like to move in with you." She smiled. Her fantasies seemed within reach.

June 2022

She was working front of house. It was a grueling summer afternoon. She'd gotten into a fight with her mum earlier that week over not coming on the family vacation.

"You haven't been home in so long. Seb misses you."

"He can come to London."

"Your father doesn't like London, you know that."

"He should get over it."

"I just want you to come. Spend time with your family. We want you here."

"Didn't know we was singular now."

"Nina."

"Mum."

She walked around, checking in on all the tables. Kate came up to her.

"Price needs to talk to you in his office." She looked sad.

As she walked away she heard Kate tell Cleo and Nova to tell people they were closing early.

Price's office was in the basement of the building. Stuffy and dark but cooler than anywhere else except the walk in.

"Sit down, love." His head was in his heads, he didn't even glance up at her.

"Am I getting fired?" She joked, sitting down across from him. Price looked up at her. She'd never seen him cry before. Her stomach dropped, probably landing in some abandoned catacomb beneath them.

He got up and knelt down in front of her.

"I got a call." He took her hands between his. She was shaking and she didn't know why. "There was an accident down near Brighton."

"Don't..." She shook her head. They were just hurt. Nothing else. Just hurt, even severly maybe but they weren't...no...they couldn't be.

"They're gone, love. I'm so sorry, Nina but they're all gone."

Kyle heard Nina scream from the dining room. It made his blood run cold. He sprinted out of the kitchen and down toward's Price's office.

She was hunched over, head between her knees, wailing in pain. Price was knelt in front of her, rubbing her back and knees.

"Kyle's here, love." Price, moved to the side so Kyle could kneel in front of her. He pressed his head to hers. She blindly reached out to grab his arms, holding tight enough to leave bruises.

"I got you. I got you."

It was his turn to take care of her now. Because he loved her and that's what you did for the people you loved.

the time line might be a little fucky so forgive me, I'm bad at math

Tag List: @queen-ilmaree @macravishedbymactavish @gogh-with-the-flow @water-bearz @pvssytrux

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

Love your stuff what will be updating Visited on the son? Maybe?🤔🤞

Thank you 😊. I had hoped to finish it sooner but then I got side tracked with an au someone sent me. I’m close to finishing the last part of that but I’ve also been on a trip all weekend so I haven’t really been writing much (but I have been think up a complete new fic that I really want to start writing but probably shouldn’t until I finish other stuff) . I’ll get back to writing Visited when I get home tomorrow. I plan on just chilling for the next two days so I’m hoping to get a lot done. In the meantime, here’s a snippet!

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“Alright now what sound does B make,” Miles asked his son. Spider’s reading lessons were displayed on their living room t.v, Miles standing off to the side of it with a pointing stick in hand, playing teacher. His son sat on the couch, looking hilariously small on the oversized furniture. Spider was wrapped up in a blanket, clutching it close as if to shield from the schooling, the pout on his face a permanent fixture since the lesson began.

“Bah,” Spider spat out.

Miles sighed. “You know for a kid that’s right y’a look mighty miserable.”

“This is stupid!”

Miles pinched the bridge of his nose, “well son if y’a had passed this portion on your aptitude test then we wouldn’t be doin’ this. But y’a didn’t because y’a couldn’t even read the questions. So it’s not stupid. Knowin’ what sounds all the letters make will help y’a sound out words when we get to readin’. Y’a listen to the sounds, y’a figure out the words and just like that y’a can read.”

Spider defensively crossed his arms, glaring at the floor, still obviously unimpressed. “It doesn’t matter,” the boy mumbled, the words barely decipherable by his father, “I’m a moron anyway…”

“What did you just say,” Miles' anger was rising, hoping that he’d actually misheard his son.

Spider cast off his blanket, leaning forward on the couch, “I said I’m a moron!”

“Don’t you dare say that about yourself,” Miles shouted, wagging a finger at the boy. Spider shrank inward at the yelling but Miles' fury was too high for him to stop, “who told you that! That damn McCosker!”

Spider curled into a little ball, “yeah.”

Miles took a deep breath, trying to quell his rage. You can’t yell at him, he reminded himself, you're scaring him. He crossed the room, kneeling to his son’s level, laying his hands on the boy’s shoulders. In a much more gentle tone he said, “I’m sorry for yelling. I was just mad on your behalf. You are not a moron. Don’t you ever say something like that about yourself ever again y’a hear me.” Spider nodded. “Now tell me what happened when McCosker insulted you.”

Spider was quiet until he found the words, “we tried school a while ago. I couldn’t sit still and that made him angry and when I didn’t get the lessons he got more angry and started yelling and calling me a moron and an idiot and stupid….”

Miles had to stop himself from completely flying off the handle and going straight to McCosker’s apartment to beat the shit out of him. “How old were you?” Spider answered by holding up a hand all five of his fingers splayed. It felt like a knife to the heart for Miles. His poor boy had already been through so much and Miles could have prevented all of it if he had just made better choices. He took his son’s little hand in his own, looking him directly in the eye with a soft encouraging gaze. “Now you listen up. Sometimes when people are mean, like that mean ol’ Nash McCosker, it’s really because they’re unhappy with themselves. They gotta tear everyone else down just to feel good inside. Once you know that, those people can never hurt y’a again. They are sad and pathetic. You are kind and resourceful and strong. And you are most definitely a smart boy. Y’a couldn’t win at hide and seek, or safely make your way through the jungle all by yourself or speak two languages or take care of yourself for as long as y’a did if y’a weren’t incredibly smart.” Spider’s cheeks turned pink, a bashful smile on his face. Miles cupped his face in his hand. “Do y’a believe me now?” Spider nodded. “Good. Now can we try your lessons again?”

[dandylovesturtles]

100 Feet and a World Away is up against New Phone Who Dis in the tmnt separated AU comp and while the poll is a ways away I had this idea and I wanted to write it.

@callmehere-iwillappear I hope you don’t mind me borrowing your kids and I hope you like this!

(“Dandy, where is April?” SHE’S AROUND. Just not here. There were already so many people in this conversation, she’s letting the kids bond okay don’t worry about it.)

———

“And then we all ended up here!” sang the other Mikey, entirely too chipper for the story he had just finished telling, about how the other group of turtles, their opponents for the next round, had been kidnapped ten years ago and raised in captivity. Raph tries not to choke on her ice cream.

After being introduced they’d decided to get ice cream - something the other four had never had before, for reasons that had just been thoroughly explained. The four of them seemed confused by the idea of sitting at a table, so they’re sitting in a group on the floor instead, the three almost mirror images of her friends (her siblings? that is still boggling her mind) leaning against the other Raphael. He’s laying on his stomach, lazily licking from his own bowl with a contented churr deep in his throat.

(It reminds her of how she gets sometimes, when she’s alone, and it makes her sad and unnerved in equal measure.)

“Uh, wow,” says Leon, the first one on their side to react. “That’s quite a story.”

“Mikey makes it sound better than it was,” says the other Leo, with the same humor in his voice that Leon has. He’s the only one who isn’t eating his ice cream, and Raph wonders if he doesn’t like it.

“I wanna hear about you guys, though,” says the other Mikey, bouncing in place. “Where do you live? Who raised you?”

Mike and Othello (Donnie) are still recovering, so again, Leon takes the lead. “Well, we were all raised separately, but I was raised by my dads.”

“Dads!?” gasps the other Mikey, emphasis on the S. “You have more than one!?”

“Yep!” Leon sounds proud about it. “Two whole dads.”

“Woooow… two whole dads,” says the other Mikey with awe. He sounds a little jealous. Maybe Raph is a little jealous, too.

“Why do you need two fathers?” asks the other Donnie, eyes wide like he’s trying to study Leon. So far, he seems the most different from Othello-Donnie (other than her silent double). “Only one male parent is required for reproduction.”

Raph feels the defensive energy roll off Leon before he says anything. “Okay first off, don’t be homophobic.”

The other Donnie stares blankly at him, clearly confused by the sudden snippiness. The other Leo and Mikey look equally confused.

Raph very lightly nudges Leon, and he jolts, pressing his hands to his face.

“…That was a genuine question, wasn’t it?”

Othello snorts. “Did you just call the guy who grew up in a lab homophobic?”

“Shut up! I wasn’t thinking!”

“He’s adopted,” says Mike helpfully. “And his dads are in looove.”

“True, but also, eugh,” says Leon

“Awww, that’s so nice!” says other Mikey. Raph notices he’s finished his ice cream, and completely licked the bowl clean. It’s all over his lips and cheeks, which makes Raph laugh silently to herself.

“Right!?” Mike starts getting excited too - they’re playing off each other’s energies now. “You know, I think my dad should get back in the dating scene, but he always says he’s too busy planning to destroy- er,” Mike glances at the rest of them, then says, “he’s, uh, always busy with work so he can’t.” They trail off with an awkward laugh.

The other Mikey, seeing nothing amiss, starts peppering them with questions, and while he’s doing that, the other Leo quietly swaps his full ice cream bowl for Mikey’s empty one. Ah, so that was the plan.

It’s sweet, but Raph can’t stop herself from speaking up. “You should eat your own ice cream.”

Leo jumps, clearly not expecting to be called out. “Uh, I’m not hungry, so Mikey can have it,” he says.

“Well, you guys haven’t had a lot of sweets, right? Eating too much sugar at once can make you sick.”

She says it to encourage Leo to eat his own, and also because she genuinely doesn’t want this other Mikey to get a stomachache his first time eating ice cream, but the horrified look on Leo’s face makes her feel bad. He snatches the ice cream back, looking at it like it’s poison.

“I wasn’t trying to make him sick,” he says softly.

“Uh, Raph knows you weren’t,” she says quickly, holding up her hands. “It’s not a big deal.”

Still, he looks upset, which is making Mikey upset, which is making the other Raph shuffle behind them with agitation. This isn’t what she meant to happen at all.

It’s Leon who smoothes things over. He’s good at that.

“Geez, Red,” he says, nudging Raph with his shoulder. “You’re the same in real life as you are online, huh?”

She gives him a side-eye. “What do you mean?”

Leon smirks. “A mother hen.”

This makes both Othello and Mike laugh, and the awkward air over the other boys lessens. She just rolls her eyes at Leon but lets it go.

“What’s a mother hen?” asks the other Mikey.

Leon is all too happy to explain. “Means he’s always trying to take care of us. She’s like this online too.”

“Oh,” says Mikey. “Well, why not?” He leans back and bumps his own Raph, who rumbles contentedly. “Raph’s the best big brother ever! It’s the same for you guys, right?”

And that hits her.

Big brother? Is that what she is?

Well, she is the oldest. And the biggest. And if Leon, Mike, and Othello are her siblings, then…

She glances at her friends. None of them are meeting her eyes, and she feels as bashful about it as they look.

They haven’t really talked about it yet. Haven’t put a name to it. But… it’d be nice, she thinks.

Before any of them can think of anything to say, the other Donnie, who seems incapable of reading the mood of any conversation, speaks up first. “I think One should eat ice cream until he can’t. It could be valuable data.”

“Oh, yeah!” cheers Mike, clearly happy with this turn. “Let’s eat ice cream ‘til we puke!”

“Yeah!” cheers Mikey in agreement. “‘Til we puke!”

Mike holds up their hand and Mikey, who only recently learned what a high five is, eagerly returns it.

“No!” snaps Othello, holding out his arms. “If anyone in this group throws up I’m leaving and not coming back!”

“Oh well now we gotta do it,” says Leon, and the conversation erupts once again.

Raph sits back from it all, watching her other self snooze, his brothers tucked against his side, and she wonders if she’ll ever feel like big brother for real.

[teakookssi]

Before I Leave You [Eren/Levi x Reader FF]

[ full story can be found here or here ] [Overview & prologue] ➺ pairing: levi ackerman/eren jeager x fem!reader  ➺content: mafia au, crime, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, angst, lol so much angst ➺warnings: violence, blood, strong language, guns/weapons, and illegal activities are all mentioned but hey, that’s aot for you, so if you can handle that, you can handle this (: 

chapter 13: one way ticket to hell pt 2

When you finally arrive at the Karanes station half an hour later, you exit the train with Eren following closely behind. Bear back in your bag.

The Northlake Garden Park is a short ten minute walk from the train station and though you hardly come across anyone during that time, the streets are poorly lit and unfamiliar that it has Eren looking around nervously and flinching at any sudden movement over his shoulder.

By the time you reach the park’s entrance, Eren’s completely on edge.

He shakes his head beside you. “I don’t like this, Anya.”

But you ignore him and move along with haste, cutting through the open grass towards the area you know Cas frequents.

There’s still people out for evening strolls, and for the most part they never get close enough to interact. It’s only when Eren has to steer you out of a joggers path after Eren notices him approaching you far too closely than he’s comfortable with that his anxiety hits its peak.

“What are we doing here?” he hisses angrily through gritted teeth after the jogger runs past.

“I’m meeting a friend,” you answer simply.

“What kind of friend?”

“A very important one,” is all you offer him before ultimately coming to a complete stop.

Cas and his nanny stand in the middle of the kid’s favorite bridge looking out over the lake. The two undercover cops assigned to him linger at the bottom of the bridge a respectful distance away.

Eren doesn’t miss the faint curve of a smile on your face as he follows your line of sight to see what’s got your attention, but Cas is too far away for Eren to make sense of things. For all he knows, he thinks you’re meeting some crime lord, not a lonely eight-year-old child.

You slide your gaze to Eren beside you and extend a hand out in front of him. “Give me the bag.”

Eren studies your open hand for a moment before he does as you say with great wariness. “What are you going to do?”

You nod to the paved pathway behind him. “I suggest you take a walk now.”

You start for the bridge, not waiting to find out if he does as you say, but before you can take a step Eren hastily grabs you by the wrist, holding you back.

“No!” he argues back. “Not until you tell me what’s going on. You can’t just—“

Before he can finish his sentence, you break out of his hold and swiftly twist his arm behind his back. He cries out in a mix of pain and surprise, but your hold does not let up as you hastily shove him forward to pin him behind the closest tree to avoid the attention of Cas’ guards.

“You forget yourself, mate,“ you hiss dangerously into his ear, beyond annoyed. You’ve lost enough time as it is. You’re not about to let this night go to waste because of him.

Eren tries to resist you, using his free hand to push against the bark of the giant oak tree, but you twist his arm further and press his face and chest deeper against the tree to keep him in place.

“There’s a reason people fear me,” you continue with a growl. A reason they call you a messenger of Death. “Don’t make me have to remind you.”

You release him soon after — though none too gently — and leave him behind you to recover behind the oak tree without sparing him a second glance, unwilling to see the kind of expression written on his face after attacking him in such a way.

Once close enough to the bridge, you wave to the blond hair boy before you with Bear prominently in your arms to get his attention. When Cas spots you, his face lights up with joy and quickly rushes over to greet you; his trust in you undeniable.

—

After Cas leaves the park a little while later, Bear is ready for a well deserved nap after entertaining the boy for you without pause. Nestled in your arms, you transfer him over to your canvas bag for him to sleep as you make your way back to where you left Eren last. He waits for you by the oak tree with a sullen look on his face, a hand on the shoulder belonging to the arm you twisted. But you know that’s not the main reason for the grim expression on his face.

From this distance, Eren stood close enough to watch you interact with the boy, so it wasn’t hard for him to put two and two together. He’s seen Erwin Smith before. And his son is the spitting image of him. Yet you don’t say a word to him as you walk past him out of the park in the direction leading back to the train station.

For a while Eren trails wordlessly behind you, but his silence is deafening, and you know he’s too upset to hold himself back for long. So you move with haste and maintain your distance, hoping to be out of town before he causes a scene in the middle of the street.

Reaching the train station some few minutes later, you send Eren away to get a pair of tickets from the ticket booth for the both of you.

But Eren doesn’t move.

When you turn to him, you find him glaring at you with a clenched jaw, clearly hating how casual you’re being despite the wicked plan he now knows you’re planning to execute. And for a split second you think this is the moment where he’s going to turn on you.

But then he lowers his gaze and turns away to do as you’ve instructed. Albeit, tense, and with hands curled into fists at his side.

When he returns, he looks far more wretched than when he left as he stares at the train tickets in his hands. The moment he takes too long to hand over yours, you anticipate his outburst.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t have picked the worst time to do so.

Over Eren’s shoulder, stepping onto the platform a few feet away is a forest-green uniformed copper making his rounds. Knowing they never go on duty alone, you subtly glance behind you to your left where another copper has made an appearance onto the platform.

“Why are you doing this?” you hear Eren demand in front of you, his voice trembling with outrage and completely oblivious to your newfound company. “What are you trying to accomplish?”

Though Eren speaks in an angry tone, his voice does not rise. Still, the copper behind Eren turns to you both in attention.

Shit.

“That’s really none of your concern,” you answer Eren tightly under your breath while trying to calculate all the ways this can play out for you if the train doesn’t get here soon.

As you subtly remove your bag from across your chest, you notice from the corner of your eye the copper behind Eren closing in with heedful steps, watching you with wary suspicion.

You try not to make any sudden moves. The cop is too far away for him to recognize your features. But when you glance back over to your left in search of the second cop, you find you’ve lost track of him. He’s nowhere in sight and you fear he’s run off to call for backup even though he’s most likely scouting the area on the opposite side of the train station.

Despite your lack of attention, Eren continues his ranting. “He’s just a child!” he argues angrily. “He’s innocent! You can’t possibly be capable of something so —”

Just then, a strong gust of wind cuts through the night, blowing through the platform and knocking your hat off your head without warning, revealing your face under the bright lights of the train station.

The main cop recognizes you the moment you lock eyes with him. But the second he reaches for his gun, you hastily shove Eren to the ground and draw out your own, simultaneously dropping your bag with Bear in it onto Eren’s lap.

You shoot before the cop does, but the bastard dodges your bullet in the nick of time.

Refusing to give him time to recover, you continue shooting in the direction he sought cover behind a pillar to keep him in place.

“Stay down!” you shout at Eren over your shoulder before making a run for the other side of the platform to take cover behind a similar pillar.

Once out of the copper’s visible shooting range, you release another round of bullets in his direction. You manage to hit him square in the shoulder, but the cop refuses to go down and continues shooting at you, trying to hold out until backup arrives.

Except, the train to the Founding Sector arrives first, and you curse everything to hell.

The roaring of the train’s engine clashes with the sound of gunshots ricocheting across the station as it comes to a stop at its designated platform. But your attention immediately goes to the front of the train where the conductor resides. The second he looks out and sees what’s going on out here he’s going to cut the time the train waits on the platform and take off, not wanting to get caught in the middle of a gunfight.

Your hold on your gun tightens as you watch from across the platform as the doors open for passengers to board or exit, and you glower back at the cop keeping it out of reach from you.

You need to finish off the bastard now or you’ll never make it back on the train alive.

But as you reach for a magazine from the holster belt at your waist to reload your glock pistol, your hand comes up empty. That’s when you realize: in your haste to keep Eren out of the copper’s line of fire, you left your bag with him and forgot to take the extra set of magazines you’d packed in your bag with you.

Worst yet, the conductor has now realized what’s happening and has hastily begun to move the train out of the station. Eren—who obediently remains crouched on the ground as you instructed, taking cover behind a lamp post across the platform—notices too and he looks to you helplessly, unsure of what you want him to do.

He knows as well as you do this is the last train scheduled for the night. You can not miss this train. Problem is, you’ve already gone through your spare gun; all you have left are the handful of bullets you carry in your revolver.

You glance over at the green uniformed copper taking shelter from behind the pillar across the platform.

It’ll have to do.

Swapping your empty pistol for your revolver, you make sure there’s no other threats around you before rushing into the open clearing, your eyes zeroed in on the cop’s location.

Once he sees you making your way across the platform back to Eren, he wastes no time in attacking. But in doing so, he’s left himself just as vulnerable.

The moment you get a clear shot of him, you trust your natural instincts to keep you out of range from the series of bullets he sends your way, and let Death guide your hand as you release your own set of bullets.

True to your name as Messenger of Death, your bullets aim true—two to the chest and one to the copper’s head. Yet despite neutralizing the threat, you know better than to let your guard down.

A second cop—the one that had disappeared earlier—reappears before you across the station.

With Eren as his target.

“EREN!” you shout in warning just as the cop races towards him and opens fire.

Eren flinches at the gunshot and folds in on himself even further to protect himself, unaware of the threat that had been approaching behind him until the metal bullets started bouncing against the lamppost.

Ignoring the burning sensation in your legs, you quicken your speed to cut across the platform in time to reach Eren. You try shooting at the cop amidst your running, but your revolver draws empty. You’ve run out of bullets.

All the same, you remain undeterred.

Before the copper can turn his gun in your direction, you unsheathe a few blades from under your sleeves and throw them across the station with skilled accuracy. Two of them hit him across the chest while the third pierces his neck.

The cop instantly drops his gun and falls to his knees just a few feet before reaching Eren.

Eyes wide in panic, the cop reaches for the blade protruding from his neck with shaking hands, knowing that if he pulls it out he’ll only bleed to death faster.

Eren stares at him in horror, oblivious to the train in front of him that has begun to pick up speed out of the station.

“Eren, go!” you command sharply to snap his attention away from the dying cop before him. “Get on the train! Now!” But Eren is still stricken with shock and fear. He’s far too disturbed to move or acknowledge anything else happening around him.

So you force him to react to something else.

The cop your blades have pierced remains alive. Coughing up blood and on the floor, but still alive. You cannot leave him like this at the off chance he survives. These cops were on duty making their rounds, and though they may not have been the guards hired to protect Erwin Smith’s son, they recognized you the second they saw your face. If they were to spread word to Erwin that you’d been spotted this close to his son, you’d lose your leverage over him.

Reaching the cop first, you yank him by the back of the hair towards you, eliciting from him a panicked cry as you motion to retrieve the dagger from his neck. His attempts to stop you are weak and futile—the blood stains he leaves on your hands and coat the only signs of his struggle. Eren also realizes what you’re about to do and moves to stop you.

“No! Don’t!” he cries out desperately, a hand extended out towards you to stop. But your eyes are cold and ruthless as you twist the blade sideways on the cop’s neck, and in one clean sweep slit the man’s throat.

Eren flinches as blood splatters on the floor in front of him. Yet your expression remains unfazed as you pull out the two other daggers from his chest and let the cop’s body fall to the ground in front of you with a heavy thump. You then take a spare handkerchief from your coat and wipe them clean before securing them back in their holsters.

Eren stares at the unmoving figure before him in aghast before his expression slowly changes. When he looks up at you again, his eyes are reproachful and unforgiving. As if you’ve committed the worst crime imaginable. As if you haven’t done this hundreds of times before.

You step over the cop lying dead on the floor to cut the space between you and Eren, a hard scowl lining your features. You just saved his goddamn life! How can he have any sympathy for the cop when he had been seconds away from killing him?

“You have yet to see me at my worst, Eren Yeager,” you remind him darkly. You then lean in to roughly take back your bag from him. “If you can’t handle me now, don’t bother coming back.”

Throwing the bag over your shoulder, you turn your back on him and make a run for the train before it can gain anymore speed and disappear completely off the platform.

You make it onboard with ease and start digging for some coins to bribe the conductor with since Eren never actually got to hand you your train ticket. You consider this an excuse to linger by the opening of the door, and not a sign of weakness.

But there’s no one around here to fool except yourself.

The true reason you keep glancing over your shoulder is not because you’re on the lookout for the conductor. You’re on the lookout for Eren, waiting for him to appear in front of the door you just jumped in from.

He doesn’t, of course.

Eren is not meant to follow you into the darkness. Your violent and vindictive nature is not something anyone can control.

Nor do you want it to be.

Refraining from looking back any further, you keep your attention forward.

Bear proves to be a good distraction as he pops out of your bag the second you take a seat in one of the many vacant chairs within the passenger car. He starts meowing at you incessantly, as if reprimanding you for all the noise and rough handling he’s had to endure while traveling inside your bag.

You smile down at him in amusement and nod to his every meow like you understand what he’s saying.

“I know,” you coo at him in agreement, sounding like a mother soothing her weary child. “You’ve had quite the adventure.”

To compensate him for his troubles, you reward him with a generous amount of treats while you pet him in all his favorite spots. In return he purrs loudly against your touch, letting you know you’re forgiven.

A figure approaches from the passenger car connected next to yours a few minutes later, and at first you think its the conductor making his rounds, checking for tickets. But then you do a double take and you’re surprised to find its not the conductor, or any other wayward passenger in search of a seat.

A mixture of emotions run through you at the sight of him before you, but you keep your features composed and try not to overthink what his presence here means.

Sliding the cabin door open to your passenger car, Eren steps inside your compartment.

You regard him warily with narrowed eyes from across the cabin as he makes his way inside, unsure of what he’ll do next since he always seems to end up doing that which you least expect him to do. But his eyes are downcast and he wears a dejected expression on his face that you’re undoubtedly responsible for putting there.

Without directing a word to you, he sits down a few seats opposite you.

The longer he goes without speaking to you, the more anxious you become. Still, you refuse to be the one to break the silence first so you ignore him for the duration of the ride as he does with you.

Reverting your focus back to Bear, you play with him until the feline grows tired and falls asleep in your lap. With the way he’s curled in on himself, completely at ease by your warmth and presence, you almost don’t want to disturb him.

But alas, your weapons need reloading.

Careful not to startle him awake, you scoop Bear up and gently settle him on the seat next to you before you draw out your weapons. Your hands move with skill and precision as you reload your firearms with the magazines in your bag, enjoying the satisfying click they make at the end when they’re fully armed and ready. Leaving your revolver for last, you slide its corresponding bullets inside the silver cylinder until all six chambers are loaded.

You sense Eren watching you from where he sits across from you as you do this, seemingly on edge by the noises your guns are making.

Which only confuses you all the more. If he’s so bothered by all this, why did he even come back?

After what seems like forever, Eren finally breaks the silence.

“Who is Erwin to you?” he demands as calmly as he can muster, but given the scowl still branding his features, he is still very much upset. And you have to refrain from flinching by how uneven his voice sounds.

You snap the cartridge to your revolver shut and return it to its holster.

“A dead man walking,” you answer flatly.

Eren’s hands curl into fists at his lap but he forces himself to ask, “Why do you and Levi hate him so much? What did he do to you?”

Images of your home being invaded, your mother dead at your feet, you standing over her grave as they bury her underground, flash before you.

“He ruined me.”

You spin your two remaining firearms on both of your index fingers before crossing your arms across your chest to place them back in the holsters under your arms.

You lock eyes with Eren. “I plan on returning the favor.”

He throws you a scathing look. “By spilling innocent blood?”

“Blood is all I want,” you reply back mildly. “I will fill rivers with it if it means getting the justice I am owed.”

Eren’s frown deepens, appalled. “Justice?” His body turns towards you, eyes ablaze. “Justice is working with the police. With the law. To try and change the system. To end things peacefully. What you want is revenge. That is not the same thing.”

“It is in my world.” You settle back against your chair with your arms crossed over your chest, but though you appear to be reclining, you are wound tight. Your eyes are sharp as daggers as you then add haughtily, “But I don’t expect you to understand that.”

Eren stares at you with a clenched jaw, annoyed and frustrated by your stubbornness. But the determined look in his eyes tells you he refuses to give up on you. So he changes tactics. With a heavy sigh, his shoulders sag and his features soften. His tone, pleading.

“I know you’re angry,” he says in a low voice. “I know you’ve been hurt. But—”

“Then you know why the commander must die,” you cut him off irritably. Eren may have a sense of what Erwin had done to you and your family but he did not know the details. If he did, he wouldn’t be saying any of this.

Eren shakes his head. “Not like this.” He rises from his seat and takes ginger steps across the moving train to move closer to you. “Please. You can choose to forgive him. To show him mercy.”

“Mercy?” you repeat with a snarl, leaning forward in your seat. “You think Erwin Smith deserves my mercy?”

“No,” he clarifies hastily, stopping in his tracks. “But you deserve peace. And forgiving him is the only way you can start to heal.”

“It is not in my nature to forgive. Perhaps it had been, once,” you admit with a hint of lament that you are unable to mask from him. “But when my mother died, she took along with her whatever goodness there had ever been in me. I have nothing left.”

Eren shakes his head and takes a step towards you. “You don’t believe that. You can’t—You can’t seriously think this is what your mother would have wanted for you? To live your life solely for vengeance?”

Your siren eyes flash up to him in warning, but Eren presses on. “You think she would be proud of the person you’ve become? I may not have known your mother, but I know for a fact if she saw you now, she would be devastated to see her daughter capable of so much evil.”

“Evil?” You laugh wryly. “Despite what you’re always preaching, mate, I am not the villain in this story.”

Eren narrows his eyes, the desperation visible in his gaze and tone. “If you’re not the villain, then stop acting like one.”

Your eyes crystalize into something dark and dangerous as you regard him with a tilt of the head. “You accuse me of committing atrocities.” You stand and take a threatening step towards him, and Eren—noticing this dark shift in you—wisely steps back. “But nothing I have done can ever measure up to what that bastard did.”

You draw Eren into a corner until the back of his knees hit the seats of the train behind him. With nowhere to move, he unwillingly falls into the seat as you lean forward and raise an arm to grip the back of his seat, not once breaking eye contact with him as you continue.

“Under his leadership, a specialized police force was sent to my family’s home with a search warrant thinking they would find incriminating evidence against both my father and Levi’s father. In their attempt to taking them down, they raided my home. Killing anyone within sight. Innocent lives were caught in the crossfire. Including my mother’s.”

Eren visibly flinches at the hatred in your tone and he starts to turn away, wanting to look away from the intense fierceness in your eyes. But you keep his face in place with a thumb and index finger against his jaw, forcing him to keep his eyes on you. He’s close enough for you to see the shade of green in his eyes glisten against the light of the train like summer leaves in sunlight— bright, bold, and beautiful. But you refuse to let the sight of them warm your heart.

“You still think my wrath misplaced?” you demand icily. “You think it fair for a child of only six to have to watch her mother bleed out to death in front of her?”

Eren works his jaw, hating the direction this conversation was taking, but he says nothing, knowing your question is rhetorical.

“When my father found me covered in my mother’s blood afterwards, shaking with fear… He saw my pain, my grief. And he promised to make things right again. He said he would make everyone responsible to suffer the same way they made us suffer. And he did.”

Eren shakes his head and closes his eyes in a grimace.

“Stop,” he whispers, so softly that if you weren’t as close as you were you wouldn’t have heard him. He tries to move away. “I don’t want to hear this.”

You press a hand over his shoulder, shoving him back down. “What’s wrong?” you ask mockingly. “Is the truth too hard for you to swallow?”

He knocks your arm away and shoves you aside, walking away from you to create some space from you across the passenger car. “You’ve proved your point. You can stop now.”

“Stop? But you haven’t heard the best part! Don’t you want to hear how he did it? How my father hunted down every single one of Erwin’s men that had been sent in to raid our home that day? Don’t you want to hear of all the ways he tortured each and every one of them in the comfort of their own homes and slaughtered their families like they did mine?”

Eren moves for the door with a shake of the head, having heard enough.

“He saved my mother’s killer for last,” you drawl behind him in a sinister tone.

Eren pauses at the door, a hand frozen over the handle as you continue.

“By then, the cop knew what my father was doing, and that it was only a matter of time before he got to him. But when he least expected it, my father made his move and invaded his home, just like he did with us. And oh, did my father take his time with him.”

Eren’s grip on the door handle tightens until his knuckles turn white as a ghost.

“Hours my father spent with him, keeping him just barely alive for him to give my father the information he wanted on Erwin. Then, while his seven-year-old son watched, my father murdered his wife in front of him the same way it was done to me. In the end, knowing the cop would not survive for much longer, my father let the cop live out the last moments of his life wallowing in guilt for all the pain and misfortune he brought onto his family for his actions. When my father left, he said he saw his son crawl to his dying father’s side, but who knows if the kid survived on his own after all that.”

Eren bristles at the mention of the son and turns to you reproachfully.

“Do you even know their names?” he demands, seething. “Do you know the names of any of the people he killed?” His eyes narrow at you accusingly. “Of the people you’ve killed?”

You scowl back and growl through your teeth, “They do not deserve to be remembered.”

Eren looks appalled and turns away to sit at the nearest seat from him, looking defeated and out of strength. Even the look in his eyes has grown dull as he stares at an invisible spot in front of him with a distant, unfocused gaze. You think he’s probably regretting following you back now after all you’ve said to him.

Either way, you leave him to his own thoughts and try to keep him out of yours as you make your way back to Bear who is still curled up asleep where you left him last.

As the train arrives at the Founding Sector’s train station moments later, you glimpse over at Eren who is leaning forward in his seat with his elbows on his knees and his head in between his hands.

It shouldn’t bother you that he looks so miserable, but it does. And you hate it. But you refrain from going to him.

This is what you wanted, you remind yourself. This was the whole point of letting him come along, to show him who you really are. For him to see that you’re really not worth saving and that he’s better off giving up on you.

While you collect your cat inside your bag and move for the door, Eren struggles to his feet. As you get closer you notice how pale he is.

“Oi,” you say coolly, intercepting him at the door. “You don’t look so good.”

But he ignores you and brushes past you, forcing you to watch him go as he stumbles off the train into the deserted platform.

You instinctively reach out to grab him by the arm before he can hit the floor as his legs give out on him, but he slaps your hand away.

“Don’t!” he shouts vehemently, hastily stepping back from you.

Your eyebrows shoot up, startled for a second by the strange look in his eyes, but then he blinks and it vanishes. Before you can question it further, he points an accusatory finger at you.

“You let me come here with you,” he growls at you with reproach. “To witness—” He presses his lips together, his expression pained, as he looks in the direction of where the train just came from. “To push me away.”

Your jaw tightens, but your features remain aloof. Neither acknowledging nor denying anything.

Not that Eren needs you to.

He’s clearly seen right through you, and that’s what has him most upset.

He shakes his head at you when you say nothing, and you hate the disappointment glistening in his eyes when he does.

“You want to go down this path?” he questions with disdain. “Fine. But if you wish to destroy yourself in the process, know that I made an oath to your father. And I plan on honoring it—with my life if I have to.”

He turns and staggers off in the direction of the canals that lead back home without another word.

Your nails dig deep into the palm of your hands, trying to swallow down your rage. But there is no hiding the burning frustration from your eyes. The way you watch after Eren is similar to the way a monster is forced to watch its victim walk away after escaping from its clutches.

This is not the way you imagined this night to go. But quite honestly, when has anything gone according to plan when Eren is involved?

And yet, all throughout the walk back home as you follow closely behind in Eren’s footsteps, you can’t stop thinking about the strange look Eren threw at you when you tried to steady him off the train. It had only been there for a second, but it had been enough for you to recognize the same pure, undiluted loathing that you saw on the faces of your enemies every time they looked your way.

It surprised you then because you would have considered such an intense, hateful gaze out of place in the eyes of someone like him. But when you locked eyes with him, in that brief moment you saw that dark look manifest in those kind, hopeful and passionate eyes you were so used to looking back at you, it did not seem misplaced at all. Rather, these raw emotions of his reflected so deeply within him, it made you believe they had always been there. Hidden behind a curtain that was never meant to be unveiled.

But it has. And now he’s got alarms going off inside your head, telling you to be wary of him even more than before. Because even if you can’t fully read Eren’s true intentions, of one thing you’re absolutely certain of: Eren is hiding something.

A dark secret he’s buried so deep within that even the brightness in his emerald eyes dimmed when you’d caught a glimpse of it trying to break out from its confinement…

Ahead of you, Eren disappears from view as he turns the corner leading down the backstreets of Trost Lane. You proceed after him with an air of casual indifference despite your senses warning you to not lose track of him, to keep him close. Secrets are dangerous—they become a liability, and sometimes, if left unsupervised, can ultimately destroy you.

But you also know that in the underworld knowledge is power. And what Eren doesn’t realize is that in this line of work, secrets are never kept secret for long. One way or another, all hidden truths come to surface.

And his will be no different.

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

Why This Yuuko Comic Is So Fucked Up

An unprofessional essay by @/the-gayest-sky-kid

Spoilers for @evermorethecrow's Yuuko!AU, CW for breaking down what I think is grooming and generally weird and inappropriate behavior from a character within the AU.

 

In @/evermorethecrow’s alternate “Bungou Stray Dogs” universe (Yuuko!AU), the reader is introduced to the character “Misacho Hitashi”. Specifically in this post we are given a good look at Misacho as a person. However, the actions taken by Misacho in this comic are completely concerning. In fact, I argue that this comic is incredibly fucked up.

  Starting from the first panel, we see that Misacho has just finished a work shift. While that’s not incriminating on its own, Misacho’s status as a working adult will be important to keep in mind as the comic continues. It’s also important to note how Misacho goes to lean on Chuuya, cigarette in hand. In the sixth panel it’s revealed that Misacho is significantly taller than Chuuya, more than an entire head taller in fact. Misacho is actively pushing herself into Chuuya’s space. This is seen again in the second panel. Misacho may look similar in height to Chuuya at first, but with their actual height difference in mind it’s clear she is purposefully clinging onto Chuuya, even crawling on the ground to do so. I will also pull your attention back to their age difference. Misacho is a working woman, 26 or 27 years old at this point. She, as implied in the comic, has her own place and a regular job. Chuuya is 12 or 13 in the comic. A 26 year old woman is hanging off of him, claiming she’s scared one of her customers will “follow her home to kill her”. She’s also smoking quite close to him too which is, while not her worst offense, still quite concerning.

  Moving on to panels three and four, Misacho still tries to convince Chuuya she’s terrified despite the backing of the Sheep. This is what prompts Chuuya to offer to stay the night instead. I say “instead”, because Misacho reveals toward the end that she was purposefully manipulating Chuuya into coming home with her. While she claims this was for good intentions, the faces she makes and her general behavior make this hard to believe. Going back to the fourth panel, Chuuya, clearly uncomfortable, says that he “left some stuff there last time anyway”. Chuuya has been to Misacho’s place before (a woman I remind you is 26), enough that he has left stuff behind there. Furthermore in panel seven Chuuya is shown wearing a change of clothes. He has not only stayed enough that he has stuff he’s left behind, but spare clothing as well. And then Misacho’s response to his offer of staying is, “You don’t have to, I’m not trying to force you”. Which, knowing that Misacho was purposefully manipulating Chuuya into going to her house, is definitely meant to be guilt tripping. In the fifth panel Chuuya counters that Misacho could never have any control of him, touting his physical strength over her. But as the readers know, Misacho has already put Chuuya where she wants him. This makes her response to this, the world's fakest laugh, all the more dark.

  To begin the sixth panel I need to bring up something I glossed over in panel four: Misacho’s weird habit of blushing. It’s odd just in that panel, but her words, expression, and actions in the sixth do put me on edge. Misacho places her hand on Chuuya’s shoulder (unnecessary contact that he’s clearly uncomfortable with), blushes (and what reason does a 26 year old have to be blushing because of a 12 year old?), and says “Let’s go home”. The contact was already an issue, but the manner in which she says those words is suspicious beyond belief. She’s delivering them almost as if Chuuya is a lover, and fully as if he lives with her. Chuuya is/is doing neither, considering he’s 12 and a well established member of the Sheep. This is also one of the couple times we see Misacho’s eyes highlighted. Considering the other moment this happens, panel eight, I have no reason to believe this indicates anything wholesome.

  Panel seven, as stated in the second paragraph, reveals that Chuuya has stayed at Misacho’s enough to have spare clothing. But what’s even more important here is that even Chuuya is wary of Misacho’s intentions here. Misacho, who has been presented as unassuming and of no threat to him so far, has garnered enough suspicion to be questioned by him. This is why I call her faces in panel eight into question. Misacho is initially thrown off by this, which makes her explanation appear like her doubling down. Misacho blushes (and again, what reason does she have to be blushing at a 12 year old?) and says, “In truth… I worry about you Chuuya… You’ve been looking so worn out recently, and I knew it was gonna rain, and I just thought you could do with a good night's rest. Though I do admit I should have been more direct; I didn’t think you’d listen”. Misacho directly admits to manipulating him, albeit for good intentions, but her delivery of this line and prior behavior again calls those intentions into question. And it also ties into the initial story draft. Misacho seems to intentionally degrade the Sheep with her concern, saying that he’s “worn out” and “could use a good night's rest”. She (like in the initial draft) not only implies that the Sheep are unable to take care of Chuuya, but that she cares more than them and can provide what they can’t.

  In conclusion, I believe neither me or any other reader have any reason to take what Misacho Hitashi says in good faith. The way she acts in this comic is, in my eyes, a terrifying sign of things to come in the Yuuko!AU. I speak from the bottom of my heart when I say we are truly, irrevocably, fucked.

[meesherbeans]

Baxter MC Week: Day 4 (AU)

“What are you really doing here?” Baxter ran a hand through his shaggy, dark grey hair as he averted his gaze, shame visible on his face. He was wearing the same flannel and jeans she’d seen him in the last time they spoke several years ago.

Yukino sighed and sat down next to him, her bracelets lightly jingling. “I hope you’re kidding,” she murmured.

He glanced briefly in her direction before he stood up and lifted both his hands to gesture at the worn pickup truck in front of them. “Do you think I’m kidding? I’m just maintenance at a school district. I fix toilets and busted doors. There’s no reason for you to be here when there’re hundreds of guys who can give you more. This is all I’ve got. You’re used to, and you deserve, way better than this.”

Once he finished putting himself down yet again, she stood up and put her hands on both of her hips. Anger slowly started to course through her veins, and she had to call on years of etiquette training to keep her voice steady. “Don’t you dare tell me what I deserve. I have never been allowed to make a real choice in my entire life, and you know that. Do not decide for me.”

The scolding hit home, and she watched as he lowered his head at the reminder. “Yukino, you know that I… god, you’re gonna make this so difficult, aren’t you?”

“You’re the one making things difficult!” she exclaimed, her eyes slowly watering as her anger began to turn into fear. “I don’t have anything any longer. Nothing! But I’m here because you were right last time. You… you were. Don’t tell me it’s too late…”

Baxter turned around to gaze at her, confusion and hurt in his expression. “What’re you… no, you don’t. You’ve still got that fancy degree, your clothes, your car. You could waltz into any city and find a job that’d pay you more than I’ll see in my life. You don’t have nothing. You’re… you were born to be special. You always have been, and you know it.”

The expression on his face was so similar to what she remembered from the last time they had seen one another. That was the worst day of her life. Her parents had forced her to return home and finish her degree at the local university, mostly to assert their control once more after they discovered the relationship she had hidden from them.

They were displeased with Yukino’s “little fling with a maintenance man,” as her mother had flippantly referred to the very serious romance she had with Baxter. He wasn’t good enough in their estimation, and so they couldn’t trust her to stay at the University of Oregon. She was ordered back to Southern California, and she went… because it was all she’d ever known.

But the regret only grew over time, and a year after she had graduated, her father found the perfect job for her. It was with his oldest business partner’s company, and she would step into a senior role immediately. The nepotism made her sick, but the straw that broke her back was when her mother gleefully told her later that said business partner also had a child her age. It would be a perfect match with a proper partner, and they would be a powerful couple. Yukino knew that if she accepted the job, she would be shackled to their world forever.

She left that night. Her car was packed to the brim with anything sentimental or valuable that was definitively hers, and she drove away without looking back. The only notice she gave either of her parents was a rejection written on the offer letter. There was no plan, and the only place she could even imagine going was directly to Oregon.

For two and a half days, she drove north in silence as she tried to figure out what she could say or do to try and fix what she had broken by leaving. She and Baxter had been seeing each other for two years before she was ordered home, and it hurt him deeply when she complied.

Now, as she stood in front of him with tears in her eyes, she was filled with the fear that she had irreparably shattered things.

“I’m sorry,” Yukino whispered, her voice hoarse. “I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have gone. You were right.”

Baxter pursed his lips and shook his head. “No, I wasn’t! But… yes, I was! C’mon, look at you. You could do anything you wanted to. I didn’t want you to go, but that was selfish, and I knew it. But I’m still mad, anyway. You were the brightest, the best part of my life, and you just left me.”

Every word he said burned into her heart, but she let him talk. It was the least she could do after everything she’d done to him.

“I kept trying to figure out if there was anything I could ever do to make something of myself. Try and prove that I was worth it. But I’m not! And I knew it! Didn’t stop me from trying, though. Damn it, Yukino, I don’t know what you want me to say!” he snapped.

Her tears finally broke free, and she closed her eyes in an attempt to stop them from getting worse.

“Come on, now, don’t you cry at m–”

She quickly lifted her left hand, gesturing for him to stop talking, and he mercifully complied. The brief respite allowed her to regain some semblance of control of her emotions, and she looked at Baxter once again, desperately hoping he would believe her.

“I love you. I… never stopped, not for a single second. I’m always going to love you. If you… if you really want me to leave, I will. But I need you to know that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone.”

The tears continued to trickle down her cheeks slowly, but she persisted. “It was stupid. I was scared and a coward, and I should’ve stood up to them sooner, and I hurt you because of that. It’s my fault. I’m so, so sorry.”

He stood there quietly, watching her as she silently wept after pouring her heart out. Every second was agony; she had no idea what he would say when he finally spoke. She had done all she possibly could but still feared that her decision had ruined everything between them. If he didn't want anything to do with her, she knew she would have to accept it.

“…Stop crying,” Baxter muttered in a thick voice. He held out a calloused hand.

Not wanting to jump to conclusions, Yukino sniffled and stepped forward to place a manicured hand in his for the first time in three years. Despite the tension in the air between them, she couldn’t help but feel like she was at home once more. But she still didn’t dare speak. It was up to him to decide what they would be.

His other hand lifted to brush the tears away from her cheek with his rough thumb, gliding it along her silky skin. He cleared his throat before continuing with a fragile question. “You know I never stopped loving you, darling. But… are you sure about this?”

“I’d give everything up a hundred times over,” she firmly replied. “The answer’s yes. It took me years to finally say it, but yes.”

Their lips met in a long-overdue, electric kiss. Everything made sense once again, and Yukino couldn’t help the tears of joy now trailing down her face. Even though she had lost the support of her affluent parents, she won her freedom and a fiancé instead.

It was the best trade she’d ever made.

[greghatecrimes]

favourite house md au of urs??? and some hc's?

It’s so hard to pick a favorite because I have so much fun with all of them. I suppose the one that’s closest to my heart is In The Dirt. Both for how it’s helping me evolve my writing style and for how cathartic it is to write. Not to sound cheesy, but there is definitely a lot of rawness and vulnerability and little bits of my heart that end up in every chapter, which is part of why it can take a while to finish each one. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Writing is such a gift, and I'm blessed to have it in my life again after a long few years of writer's block.

For a headcanon (more like a preview of a very-far-ahead chapter, but I think that still counts as an HC :P):

I once mentioned a headcanon I have about Thirteen doing ice skating when she was a kid. I took that and decided to make it canon for In The Dirt. There's a large pond on the farmhouse property that House lives on in ITD; when the first snow of the year comes in early November, the pond freezes over. House notices Thirteen stealing wistful glances at it all the time. Eventually, he manages to get out of her that she used to skate when she was little, and that she really misses it. House says something like, "Well, I'm sure we could figure something out to get you skating on the pond, even if we have to tie knives to your feet."

And then Thirteen, after a couple seconds of hesitating, gets up and goes to the guest bedroom (her bedroom) and retrieves a ratty old duffle bag that House remembers packing up with all of her stuff from the hotel. She unzips it and reveals that it's full of the last things she kept from her childhood and teenage years. Most importantly: her beat up old pair of ice skates that she saved up for as a teenager are there, complete with the laces she tie-dyed blue and purple in her dad's garage at fifteen.

House convinces her to go out to the lake and put them on. At first he tries to act like he's not watching her. But she comes alive in a way House has never seen before, and he can't look away. There's real joy in every movement, and she grins as she spins with the cold wind in her face, laughs when she flubs a jump and lands belly-down on the ice like a penguin. And there's a brightness in her eyes that reminds him of Wilson, when they really got to just enjoy life together for the time they had left.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

One Day A Year

Words: 1742

Note: thank you to @skykashi for giving it a quick read and assuring me i hadn’t done a terrible job 💜💜💜

Au: Iwa Gai

@kakagaievents

Tanabata had always been Kakashi’s favourite holiday. As a kid he would always grab the old story book that his father kept in the bookshelf and shove it into his father’s hands so that he would read it. Even if his father was still laying in bed peacefully sleeping, Kakashi would wake him up with demands to hear his favourite story.

After his father’s death he resorted to reading the story to himself every Tanabanta. There was one year that he’d debated asking Minato-Sensei to read it to him, but to do so would mean admitting he missed hearing the silly voices his father would put on for all of the character’s, and he wasn’t ready to do that yet. So, instead he read to himself in the quiet of his empty house. With no one cuddled up against his side adding stupid commentary to the story or making silly voices.

This year was diffrent.

This year, he wasn’t alone.

“Read it,” Gai nudged him with an elbow, smiling that stupid bright smile of his when Kakashi glared his way. “You brought the book to read, right?”

“I did.”

“Then read it,” placing a hand against Kakashi’s hand, he gently pushed the book towards him. “Please?”

Kakashi refrained from rolling his eyes. “We’re supposed to be on a mission,” he reminded the other man. “Separate missions.”

“Well, we sort of are.” there was no mention of the nature of their missions or the fact that they shouldn’t be here, sitting side by side as if they were friends. Gai never spoke about that stuff. Never acknowledged it, because to do so would mean admitting that what they were doing was wrong.

Maito Gai didn’t like admitting he was wrong.

Kakashi wasn’t any better, though. Sure, he was willing to admit that meeting up with an Iwagakure shinobi while he was on a mission wasn’t the ‘right’ thing to do, but that didn’t stop him.

“Please,” Gai’s finger’s drummed against his hand. “It’s my favorite story, and you’re my favorite person. It’s a perfect match.”

Snorting, Kakashi cracked the book open. “You’re cheesy.”

“You love it.” a fact that they both knew was true, even without Kakashi having to confirm it. If he didn’t love it he wouldn’t be here, sitting side by side with an enemy shinobi enjoying the feeling of his touch against his skin.

“The story of star crossed lovers,” he began, adding a little energy into his voice. “Once upon a time there was a princess named Orihime who could sew the most beautiful clothing.”

The words rolled off of his tongue. He didn’t even have to look at the pages to know what to say next. Every single word was committed to memory after years of reading the same story over and over again. It didn’t matter if he spared a glance towards Gai and dared to watch as he leaned in a little closer and smiled a little wider at the sight of the beautifully painted picture on each page. The words continued to fall, one after the other in a perfect retelling of a story older than either of their villages.

With each page he finished he could feel Gai leaning into him a bit more. At first his weight rested slightly against Kakashi’s shoulder, but by the time he reached the end of the story and closed the book he was practically laying across his lap.

“Comfy?” He asked, staring at the man who had so willingly made his lap his home.

“Very,” Gai grinned, his eyes sparkling with what Kakashi could only assume was excitement. “You’re really good at telling that story.”

Shoving a hand against Gai’s cheek, Kakashi shoved him away with a groan. “You’re the worst.” he grumbled, annoyed by the warm feeling that filled his chest. It was a feeling he only ever seemed to get when he was around Gai, and which he tried desperately to ignore for his own sanity.

It was hard, though. Whenever Gai smiled or laughed that feeling would spread more. It would reached from his chest all the way into his cheeks, tinting his skin a bright red that burned so bright that he could feel his body heating up with it. As if a sun was burning inside of him.

A sun by the name of Maito Gai.

“You like it,” Gai chuckled as he shoved Kakashi’s hand away from his face. “Admit it.”

“No.” He turned away, refusing to meet Gai’s eye. “And would you stop pushing it? You know better.”

They both did, but that didn’t stop them.

It never had.

No matter how much they told each other that what they were doing was wrong, they kept doing it. Putting off mission’s to spend a few precious minutes together. Seeking out each other’s company even though they knew that if anyone caught them they would be punished.

Settling back into his spot, Gai tilted his head back and stared up at the sky. It was still mid day so they couldn’t see the stars, but they didn’t need to. The story told it all. Orihime and the Cow hearder would see each other today, just as they did every year on the seventh of July.

It was their one day to be together.

“Do you think…” Kakashi trailed off. There was a lot of things he wished he could ask Gai, but he always kept it to himself. Questions that stayed tucked away, hidden from the rest of the world even when he wanted so desperately to scream them at the top of his lungs.

“It’s July Seventh,” Gai smiled up at the sky, his eyes sparkling even brighter than they usually did. “I’ts their day.”

“Their day,” Kakashi repeated the words, willing himself to memorize them in the way that they were meant to be memorized. The Seventh of July was the day of Lover’s. Orihime and the cow herders day to spend together while the rest of the year the world would force them apart so that they could focus on their jobs.

So that they could be the hard working seamstress and the dedicated cow hearder, instead of getting lost in each other’s love and forgetting all about their duties.

It was their day, not Kakashi’s. They were the one’s that had stories told about a love that held strong no matter how much distance was put between them.

Gai nudged his shoulder, forcing him to push aside his thoughts and return to the present where he was sitting under the open sky beside Maito Gai. Iwagakure shinobi, enemy of Konoha, and the one who had stolen Kakashi’s heart.

Though, he’d never admit it out loud. That would mean dealing with his feelings and having to make a choice that he didn’t want to make. A choice between staying loyal to his village, or following his heart.

“It could be our day, if you want,” Gai offered. “One day a year. What do you think?’

Kakashi stared at him as though he’d grown a second head. “Our day?”

“Ya,” The smile on Gai’s face grew impossibly wide. “One day where no matter what’s going on, we meet up.”

The idea sounded ridiculous. A specific day just for them to shirk their duties and hang out. A day when they didn’t have to be enemy shinobi, but instead they could just be them. Kakashi and Gai, star crossed lovers.

“Where?” He asked, unsure of whether or not he should be agreeing to such a ridiculous idea so quickly.

“Why not right here?” Gai answered as he patted the ground between them. “This is where we always meet up if we’re in the area, so why not just make it officially our spot?”

Our spot.

His heart skipped a beat.

A spot just for them. A place where they didn’t need to pretend that they didn’t want to be together. Where they could simply exist without restrictions.

“July Seventh,” he turned his eyes towards the sky, a smile tugging at the edges of his lips as he thought about the ridiculous idea Gai had just presented to him. “Tanabanta.”

“Their day and ours,” Gai leaned into his side once again. His head dropped against Kakashi’s shoulder, and as he let out a small, content sigh Kakashi could feel all of his worries washing away for just a few precious moments. “A day for star crossed lovers. It seem’s perfect, doesn’t it?”

Kakashi wanted to cry.

He wanted to wax poetics about what a perfect choice it was for them and how much he looked forward to it even though they’d only just come up with the idea.

Instead, he rested his head against Gai’s and closed his eyes. “Perfect.” he whispered his agreement. “

July Seventh. A day when Konoha would be bust celebrating star crossed lovers with food and games. For the rest of the year Kakashi would be dedicated to his job doing missions and protecting Konoha, just as the cow hearder was dedicated to caring for the gods cows.

But every July seventh he would steal away a day for himself. He’d sneak away from the confines of his village to spend time with the one who had stolen his heart. The one who he couldn’t be with, no matter how much he wanted to be, at any other time throughout the year.

“It’ll only be one day a year,” he whispered as his heart ached. It wasn’t as though the two of them saw each other any more than that. In fact, it there had been years in the past where they hadn’t seen each other at all. A set day would at least guarantee them that one day even if it was all they got. “Like Orihime and the cow hearder.”

“One day a year to love you,” Gai corrected him. “That’s better than nothing.”

Tanabata was Kakashi’s favorite holiday. It always had been.

It seemed only fitting that he would take that holiday and use it for himself. Surely Orihime and the cow hearder would understand. If they were to look down on the earth during their time together and see Kakashi and Gai sitting there staring up at the sky together, they would see two human’s who faced the exact same problem as they did.

They would be more than happy to share their day with Kakashi and Gai, of that Kakashi was certain.